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How do you survive brokenness when it’s been on your bloodline since before you were born?
Gwendolyn was 13 when her dad shattered her heart, leaving her broken. Her mother told her, a daddy can break a girl’s heart before any man has a chance and she was right. Through many failed relationships and giving herself to any man who showed interest, she knew she had to get herself together. So, she gave up on men.
Until Jacque.
He came into her life with promises to love, honor and cherish her; forsaking all others until death do they part. Twelve years later, he has made good on his promises until he didn’t. .
Now, Gwen finds herself spiraling out of control and it’s bad. What she didn’t realize, Jacque was more broken than she was and had demons of his own.
With inward fighting and outward consequences, will Gwen and Jacque recover or are they broken beyond repair?
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EXCERPT:
Gwen
I was up, earlier than usual, getting ready to stop by Dr. Lea’s office because I’m having some spotting but no pain. I didn’t want to call her because she told me, yesterday that if my pressure isn’t normal, I’m going straight to the hospital but I had too. I’m praying everything is good because Gloria is coming home tomorrow and I promised her a home cooked meal.
Once I’m done showering, dressing and all the other stuff that’s now taking me longer to accomplish, I’m headed out. I set the alarm and go out to get in the car. When I press the button for the garage to lift, I am shocked to see Jacque’s truck.
I get out of my car and walk over to the driver’s window. I tap but he doesn’t move so I knock harder and he jumps up.
“Jacque, what are you doing?”
He opens the door.
“Gwen, I’m so sorry.” He says pulling me into him but I push him off.
“How long have you been out here?”
“For about an hour. I drove, all night, from Houston and I didn’t want to wake you.”
“Look, if this is about you staying in the guest room, I am not about to argue with you because I don’t need the drama. I’m trying to keep my blood pressure down so I don’t spend the rest of this pregnancy in the hospital.” I turn to walk off after telling all my business.
“Gwen wait, please.” He says grabbing my arm. “I’ve really made a mess of my life and I need help.”
“Good for you.”
“No, what I mean is, I need your help.”
She moves my hand from her arm. “Jacque—”
“I was going to kill myself last night,” he says with tears forming in his eyes. “I had the gun to my head and I almost pulled the trigger but I couldn’t. Gwen, I’m broken.”
He falls to his knees in front of me and God allows me to remember, waking up last night and praying.
“This last month has been the worse of my life and I didn’t think I was going to survive. Last night was the lowest I’ve ever been and without help, I might not make it.”
“Jacque, get up.” I help him stand. “The only way you can get the help you need; you have to get the help you need. I know that sounds crazy but I don’t know any other way to say it. You can’t do this for me, we aren’t together and neither can you do it for this baby. You must want it for Jacque.” I look at my watch. “I have a doctor’s appointment and if I don’t leave now, I’m going to be late. Why don’t you take a shower and try to rest until I get back? I think you have some clothes still here.”
“Can I come with you?”
“Don’t do that.”
“Do what?” He asks.
“Show up now that you’ve hit rock bottom. Jacque, I’m glad you’ve decided to get the help you need and I’ll be here for you, but things are still the same with us. Right now, you’re running off adrenaline. Sober up and if you feel the same about wanting to be a part of this baby’s life then we can set boundaries.”
I leave him standing there and continue to my appointment.
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Lakisha, the Author 