Cover Reveal

The humiliation and guilt of so many bad decisions; created more dark days and nights of tears and shattered conditions.

The shattered remnants of Camille’s life are so entangled in her soul, that no matter how much she tries to release them, they are hard to let go.

After experiencing tragedy, pain and loss; she decided it was time to get the help she desperately needs. She began to take prayer and therapy seriously and fight for her marriage, all to help her succeed.

And things started to get better.

She received the nomination for judge, her family and friends are good, she’s smiling … Until she comes face to face with the one who’s trying to sabotage her career and it’s the last person she expected. Devastated and hurt, she does what has always worked for her, to hide her pain and run.

In the finale of this Shattered series, Camille has to pick up the pieces of her life, again. This time it’s proving to be harder because she’ll have to give up things, fight against what hurts, admit she hard truths and say goodbye; all while realizing, she has more tears to cry.

Get caught up with part 1 before part 2 releases, 11/28/19

Part 1 — Available HERE

Daily Devotional – 11/22/19 “Same grace!”

In Acts 27, when Paul was on a boat headed to Italy to stand trial, the winds began to pick up. No matter what course they took or boat they were put on, they were faced with wind that hindered travel. Paul advised in verse 10, “Men, I can see that our voyage will be filled with disaster and great loss, not only to ship and cargo, but to our own lives as well,” but they wouldn’t listen and kept traveling. Then the wind softened and those in charge thought they were good to keep going, instead they got caught up in a cyclone, a wind that most sailors feared because of the destruction it could cause.

They took measures to survive. They used cables to undergird the ship, to keep it from breaking apart. They sailed into the wind and gave up trying to sail the boat, to keep from crashing. They even tried to lighten the load by throwing the cargo and equipment overboard. It didn’t stop the storm. In fact, for days they didn’t see sun nor stars and hopelessness set in. Paul tells them, number one, you should have listened to me and number two, take courage because there will be no loss to life only to the ship but … but we must run aground on some island.

Run aground means shipwreck.

Paul knew he had the authority to declare these things because God had given Him the power just the night before. What does this mean for you? Two things.

1. You’re going to have to face the storm
2. You’re going to have to take a hit

BUT YOU WILL SURVIVE.

I don’t know what you’re facing, how strong the winds are, the many nights you haven’t seen the stars or the days you haven’t seen the sun. I don’t know why your storm has to be this hard or why you have to lose some stuff, but you will not lose your life. Yes, I know when the winds began to ease, you thought the storm was over but then they picked up again and this time it was worse.

Sister, brother; you will survive but you must take the hit.

How do I know you’ll survive? Because the same grace God gave Paul, sustained those around him. And I’m believing that this same grace is attached to my life and because you’re reading this, He’s giving it to you too. Yeah, God has given me the authority to declare to you that you will survive, so take courage. He has given me the authority to declare that this same grace is going to spare your life, but you can’t abandon the ship. The same grace is going to get you to dry land, but you can’t give up now.

You got grace covering you but you must weather the storm. Like Paul says in Acts 27:25, “So take courage! For I believe God. It will be just as he said.”

Daily Devotional – 11/21/19 “No doubt, belief!”

About a week ago I started experiencing blurry vision while at my computer. Now, you know a computer is something I frequent every day. From writing sermons, devotionals, books and working my 8 to 5; I’m always looking at some type of screen. I had my glasses replaced about six months ago and the doctor then told me it was time for bifocals because I was getting older, you know yada-yada. (I’ve also had an astigmatism for as long as I can remember.) The new glasses were hard to get used to so I alternated between them and an old pair I keep at work but nothing was helping, lately. It also doesn’t help that I have had vertigo. I believe God for total healing.

So, I prayed. I laid hands on myself and I prayed believing God can do it. “God, even when doctors can’t help, you can heal. God, I may not understand but you created the plan for my life, have your way. God, I trust you.”

This wasn’t the full prayer but along those lines. Anyway, I made an appointment with Eye Specialty Group and because it could be pressure they wanted me to come in, right away because some years ago, I had an issue with pressure behind my eyes. I get to the appointment and they do the usual vision test, dilate my eyes, test the pressure, look at the optic nerves and all that. I get to the doctor and he does his thing. Y’all, this man removes the machine thingy from in front of me and I’m bracing myself. He says, “your eyes are perfect. No swelling, no diabetes, no cataracts, no glaucoma and no pressure. Your distant vision is 20/20 and all you need is some readers for up close reading when your eyes get tired.”

Me, I’m like … say what now? I got glasses in my purse with bifocal lens.

He slides over to the table, gives me a sheet of paper and tells me to pull it close until its blurry. I tell him it’s blurry anyway because my eyes are dilated. He then puts a pair of readers, he uses over my eyes and it was like the sky opened and the angels were singing, ahhhh. Then he says, his readers were too strong for what I need and he’d write down the strength I could go by any store and pick up (see picture).

I know this isn’t the usual devotional but I need to tell somebody, this day, God can still do it! That’s it. I don’t know what you’re praying for, I don’t know what you’re waiting on, I don’t know what you’ve given up on but God can still do it. I’m sitting at my computer, right now, typing this with NO glasses and NO blurriness, NO dizziness … God can still do it!

When Peter was amazed that the fig tree Jesus cursed was actually withered, Jesus told him in Mark 11:22-24, “”Have faith in God,” Jesus said to them. “Truly I tell you that if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and has no doubt in his heart but believes that it will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.””

No doubt, belief!

#BookExcerpt – 2:32 AM: Losing Faith in God

232AM_BLIP

Get it here –>2:32 AM: Losing Faith in God

Charlotte’s Therapy Session

“How have you been since our last meeting?”

“In all honesty Dr. Mitchell, I don’t know how I am. One minute I think I am doing good and the next I’m crying uncontrollably.”

“That is to be expected Charlotte. You suffered a major loss.”

“But when does it get better?”

“I wish I had the answer. In your moments of crying, what are you feeling?”

“Sometimes I feel like I want to close my eyes and never open them again.”

“As in suicide?”

I nod.

“When was the last time you had thoughts of harming yourself?”

“Last night or early this morning, the times are all running together.”

“What stopped you?”

“I’m afraid to die. Even though this pain is sometimes unbearable, I am still afraid of death.”

“Why is that?”

“I don’t know, maybe it is fear of the unknown.”

“Do you believe God has a plan for our lives?” She asks.

“I do.”

“What do you believe your purpose is?”

“I haven’t figured it out yet. Since losing our baby, I feel empty.”

“Tell me about Micaela.”

I sigh, trying to stop the tears that want to leap from my soul.
“She, um, she was born January fourth at 7:42pm. She was stubborn, like me, deciding she was coming on her own time.” I laugh. “She had dimples, the softest hair and the sweetest smell.”

“Do you have pictures of her?”

“I do but I haven’t looked at them since she died.”

“Why not?”

“It’s too hard.”

Neither of us say anything so I break the silence.

“This morning, I was on the internet and I searched for the name of mothers who have lost children.”

“What did you find?”

“A lot of blogs on how to grieve and deal with the loss but nothing gives us a name.”

“Do you think you need one?”

“Of course. We should be called shells.”

“Why shells?”

“Because a definition of shell is an outer form without substance.”

“Why do you feel you have no substance? You’re alive with breath in your body, a heart and soul and in your right mind.”

“Yea but what is my purpose? What kind of substance do I have? I had a baby but she died so I’m no longer a mother.”

“What about being a wife?”

“A wife. Humph. Funny you should ask …

Get it here –>2:32 AM: Losing Faith in God

The bible tells you how to fight the enemy but what do you do when it feels like it is God you’re up against?

Charlotte’s nightmare began at 2:32AM, the morning she experienced the most unimaginable pain ever, the loss of a child.

Now, she finds herself angry at God. She trusted Him and He took her only child. She prayed to Him and it seems as if He has turned His back on her. And if things could not get worse, hell keeps showing up at her door.

What can she do, when she continually cries in the darkness but gets no answer? Where can she turn when it feels like her back is against the wall and there is no way out? Who can she depend on if God let her down?

Questions Charlotte ponder when the memories snatch her from her sleep at 2:32AM. Questions that make her angry because to her, God has forsaken them.

2:32 AM: Losing Faith in God
ebook

Daily Devotional – 11/18/19 “You’re not alone!”

Let’s say you’ve saved a lot of money to build a house. Ground is broken, concrete is poured, wood is starting to be put in its rightful place as you pour your blood, sweat and tears into creating the home of your dreams. You hardly sleep making sure every piece of wood and nail is right, the inside is painted the correct color scheme you’ve pictured, plumbing is good etc. The home is finished, you decorate it and now its move in day but then you decide, you don’t want it anymore and walk away.

Sounds crazy, right? Well, think about how God feels every time you think He’s forsaken you. Just imagine how God feels when you treat Him as if He’s left you by yourself. Do you not realize all that God has done for you? He created heaven and earth in six days, giving us everything we need to survive. Then sin was introduced so God gave us hard work and pain as a consequence to the action but then He insured we’d be able to endure it by making us extra strong. Then sin began running rampant, so God sent His only Son, as a living sacrifice for us to be able to repent, when we sin AND still live. So, tell me again why you think He’ll forsake us?

Beloved, God has put His blood, sweat and tears into creating us. He spent His time to mold us. He even gave us His breathe so that we might live. He left His word so that we might fill up on His knowledge and wisdom. He gives us His anointing that seals us with the power to cast out, call down and destroy strongholds. We’re granted new mercies, every day that keeps us in our right mind. So, what makes you think He’ll leave us without a thought about our well being? After everything He sacrifices, daily for us, why would He abandon us now? After everything ….

God said to Jacob, while he dreamed in Genesis 28:15, “I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.” And I just believe and trust God enough to know this is meant for us too, even now. My sister, my brother; God has not left you. He may get quiet, but He hasn’t left. He may not show up, when you expect but He hasn’t left. You may have to suffer but He hasn’t left because God has too much invested in us to abandon us. You have to know this, don’t you? If you don’t or if you simply need a reminder, here it is. Your pain, this momentary moment of feeling defeated, this dark place you’re in, loss you’ve experienced, sickness that will not leave you … you’re not alone.

God is always there, and He shares with us these words in Isaiah 40:27-31, “O Jacob, how can you say the Lord does not see your troubles? O Israel, how can you say God ignores your rights? Have you never heard? Have you never understood? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth. He never grows weak or weary. No one can measure the depths of his understanding. He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Even youths will become weak and tired and young men will fall in exhaustion. But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.”

Why an eagle? They can see their enemy from a distance, they flock and eat with other eagles, they don’t dwell amongst nor eat of anything dead, they can soar through storms, wait on the right male companion, build their nest out of the enemy’s reach, train their children and when their body has been beat up by what they’ve gone through; they rest through their metamorphosis phase (allowing new feathers to grow). God knows exactly what He’s doing with you. Trust Him!