Stop wondering if your life is meaningless, if your living is in vain and if the world would be better off without you. Baby, if God didn’t have need of you, He would have allowed all the hell you’ve been through to take you out. If God didn’t have a necessity for your life, Stage 4 cancer would have closed your mouth permanently. 
If God didn’t have a predestined plan for your life, that 20% kidney function would have you buried by now. Beloved, if God did not need the gifts He placed on the inside of you, to manifest, that suicide attempt would have succeeded. I don’t know who this is for but somebody is in the midst of suffering and although your selfies show smiles, you’re stuck. Yea, I see you posting the jokes but you aren’t laughing at any of them. Yea, you keep your hair and clothes on point but it isn’t doing anything for the inner you. You are suffering beloved and it is almost to the point of death. You are silently crying out for help but you don’t want to cry loud because then you will have to admit you are not perfect. You’re suffering sir but your position won’t let you admit it because then you’ll actually be human. You’re suffering ma’am but you can’t let those who look up to you see it. Your fight isn’t against the world, it’s internal. Your fight isn’t against those who have left, it’s inner. Your fight isn’t against your mom/dad, it is inside.
In the bible, Luke 13, to be exact; there was a woman who had been bent over for 18 years. The bible says it was caused by an evil spirit and when Jesus saw her, He called her to Him and said to her, “Woman, you are released from your illness. Then He laid His hands on her; and immediately she stood erect again and she began glorifying and praising God. (Luke 13:12-13).” Whomever you are, you need a place to become free and that place is in God. You know it and this is the real reason you won’t go to worship. You believe somebody is going to call you out. Well, the only way for you to get free, you need to get close enough to His presence in order for hands to be laid on you. You need to get within the flow of the anointing in order for your healing to come forth. You need to get to an altar, close to somebody who is, for real, flowing in the oil of the Holy Spirit to be set free. But, you have to go in with faith that says you’re ready to be set free. Don’t go to the altar if you are not ready because then you’ll be fighting against the release. There is healing waiting for you but you need to be in the right place to get it. That church you’ve been afraid to go to, your healing is there. That pastor/preacher who you don’t like because there is something about him/her, your deliverance is there. That phone call you keep putting off, your healing is there. You just need to get up and get it.
Lakisha, the Author 