When I was a child, I’d watch my grandma bake. Sometimes her cakes would come out of the pan so pretty but a few times, the cake would fall apart. She’d then have to work hard, shifting the cake in the right direction, long enough to get the icing on it. Once she was done, you’d never tell the cake was almost a complete disaster. She was good at masking the brokenness of the cake. And wouldn’t you know it, we are just like that. The only difference now is, we no longer mask the disaster of cake but the ruins of our life. Yeah, we’ve gotten so good at faking and covering up the brokenness of ourselves that it has now become a part of who we are. We’re afraid to show our true self because of what folk will think. Only to realize, they are just as broken as you are, if not more. We don’t want to share our testimony because then it might taint the perception of who ‘they’ think we are. We can’t keep it real because that would actually mean we have to keep it real and that’s too much.
Let us be honest for a minute. We don’t know what it means to genuinely love and be loved because that will mean getting to know somebody, for real. We don’t know how to let our guards down and let folk in because that would mean trusting somebody and we all know, you don’t trust anybody. Only to find ourselves, a jacked up mess. And it’s bad. The preacher can’t pray you free because he or she is still bound. The prophetess can’t prophecy in your life because his/her head is bogged down with mess. The pastor can’t speak over your life because he or she is too busy fighting with their spouse in the study. Yet we’ll put on a show for social media, we’ll dress up to cover up and we will paint on the smile. But is there anybody keeping it real? Is there anybody else tired of the façade of having it all together? Anybody sick of packing on layers and ready to pull them off? Anybody else tired of looking in the mirror to make sure your tear stains won’t show? Anybody else tired of covering your brokenness with the icing of isolation? Anybody ready to be free? We’ll here’s my two cents.
1. Own your mistakes. “I was wrong.”
2. Release yourself from the guilt. “But now, I forgive me!”
I was wrong but now, I forgive me!