She spent all her time trying to live up to other’s expectations of her. She was the first to go to college from her family so she had to maintain good grades, everyone was counting on her. And she did but it was a daily struggle yet no one knew. She graduated and got a great job with benefits and now she felt obligated to help her parents because they’d been the one helping her. She did but it was a daily struggle yet no one saw it. Everyone at church looked up to her because she was a saved, single girl who had it all together. She did but it was a daily struggle and she was tired. She was tired of feeling like she had to say yes. Tired of feeling like she’d let folk down if she missed one Sunday. Tired of feeling like folk wouldn’t eat if she took one day off. It was an inward struggle. One day she didn’t show up for work and that was unusual. One of her friends from college, who was also a coworker went to check on her. She saw her car in the parking lot and when she got to the door, she heard her phone ringing but she didn’t answer. She called 911 and by the time they got inside they found a note next to her body that read, “I’m sorry, I couldn’t do it all.”
For somebody reading this, you have to know that you can’t do it all. You can’t be and do what everybody else wants because you’ll find yourself being burnt out. Yes, I know you have people depending on you but what good will you do if you can’t do anything? Is a bulb any good after it’s burned out? Are batteries any good once they’ve reached their capacity? Are tires any good once they’ve run their course? I’m only asking because just like light bulbs, batteries and tires; we have to ensure we are equipped to be what someone else needs. This is why you have to say no sometimes, you can’t accept every invitation. This is why you have to shut up sometimes, every argument isn’t worth it. This is why you have to let some folk go, all relationships aren’t good. This is why you have to sever some ties, they are draining you. In this New Year, you need to reevaluate relationships, appointments, agreements and contracts. This year, you need to look at some stuff you agreed to years ago because you may just find that they don’t fit anymore. You can’t do everything and you can’t be what everybody needs and you have to get to a place where you are okay with saying it. If not, you’ll find yourself working to please folk who aren’t even worthy of it.
Lakisha, the Author 