When I got into work this morning, two of my co-workers were having a conversation about how to properly dress when it comes to worship. One of the questions asked to me was, “How would you tell the pastor’s wife she’s dressing inappropriately for worship?” My answer to them was to talk to the pastor because he has a responsibility to address his wife, not the members of the church. Look, there are too many distractions within the body of Christ as is, we shouldn’t have to deal with a ‘First Lady or Man,’ who dresses like they’ve forgotten where they are. Please understand, I am not saying a ‘First Lady’ has to dress like a nun neither the man like a priest however in these positions, you have to carry yourself to a higher standard. The bible says in 1 Timothy 2:9-10, “likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works. (ESV)” Even as women in ministry, we have a responsibility to carry ourselves in a way that’s pleasing to the calling over our life. Baby, everyone knows I love a nice pair of stiletto heels yet I wear them in a way as not to distract you by what I have on versus what I’m preaching about. I get sick of hearing people say ‘God called my spouse, not me,” as an excuse to why they don’t do, say, wear or go certain places. As the spouse, you have a calling over your life to be a help meet to your spouse and if that means lowering the skirts or putting on a nice suit, do it. If you second guess it at home, take it off!
Think about it. If your spouse is the VP of the company, would you show up to a black tie gala dressed like you’re going to a hole in the wall club? I would think not because you should carry yourself as a reflection of the person whose arm you hold. This holds true for worship too. It doesn’t matter if ministry chose your spouse after you got married, it has so govern thyself accordingly. Even if you got into a relationship with a man or woman already in ministry, you should have known what to expect; grow up and deal with it. Save the short skirts and spaghetti straps for the times you aren’t in worship. Save the jeans and t-shirts for casual Sunday or kicking it with the boys. People are looking up to you. Yea, I get it; no one asked them to look up to you but no one asked you to marry a pastor either and now that you have, act like it. This also carries over to your social media accounts and where you hang out. You don’t have to change into someone you’re not but be mindful of the position you’re in. Ministry is hard enough, by itself, without the added stress of having to deal with the deacon board on why folk are complaining about your spouse’s dress code. Again, I am not saying you have to cover with dresses down to your ankle or a suit & tie every day, just be mindful of what you do wear. That’s all.
Lakisha, the Author 