It’s another day and you woke up just like yesterday, trying to figure out how you ended up in this place. This was only after you walked the floor a few hours, last night, trying to understand and you can’t. Then you rolled over and looked into the face of a dying relationship and you still can’t explain it. You got up, rubbing your head, only to now stand in the mirror unable to recognize the face looking back. Where did things go wrong, you ask yourself yet you can’t answer it? You get dressed because you don’t want people to know you’re suffering, so you hide it behind fancy clothes. You cover the sadness and the tear stains with makeup but they’re still there. You put on your best smile but inside you’re slowly dying. You prepare to leave the house taking another look around trying to remember the good times but you’ve allowed the bad to overshadow them. You get to your car and you can’t even start it because you don’t have the strength. You’re trying but it’s so hard. You want to give up but people are depending on you. You need a new start but you don’t know how to start over. So, now you’re sitting there; in your self-made bondage crying for help only to realize you aren’t actually saying anything. And just when you’re about to throw in the towel, your phone dings signifying a text from someone else who needs you and you put on your super cape and prepare yourself to be great, once again. But baby, when will you realize you aren’t superman/woman? When will you understand that in the midst of helping everybody else, you’re losing you? When will you recognize that while everyone is enjoying their lives, you’ve placed yourself behind mind-made prison bars and no one is visiting you?
Now you’re asking yourself, for the thousandth time, “How did I end up here?” “What am I doing with my life?” You know the answers but you’re afraid to say them out loud. You know the mess you’re in but you’re too scared to get out because of what people may say. You know the problem but if you actually confess it, it’ll make it real. Well baby, it is real. An unhappy home is real. Depression is real. Suicide is real. Bondage is real. Alcoholism is real. Drug addiction is real. Loneliness is real. Abuse, it’s real. Low self-esteem, yep; it’s real. The need to fill a void so you do something else crazy, it’s real. Running from God so you’ll do anything to silence His call, it’s real. But how much longer are you going to run? When will you face the fact that when you get back, it’s still there? Plus, it’s better you do it now rather than later because you may not get later. Don’t stay because it’s best for the children, what about you? Don’t stay because it’s where you’re comfortable; how has that been working? And stop trying to fix it yourself, you mess it up every time. What you have to do, beloved, is take every broken piece of you to the potter and let Him restore you. Yes, you’ll have to confess to Him how you got broken but the good news is, He’ll forgive you AND forget. Stop trying to heal yourself. Stop trying to repair yourself. Stop trying to make it work on your own. Say it today, I NEED HELP! For I’ve found that when you do what you can, God will do what you can’t. When you say what you can, the Holy Spirit will say what you can’t. And when you give up what you can, Jesus will take those things you can’t. You just have to trust in the power of the Trinity – The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit!
— The door is open for you to come out!
Lakisha, the Author 