Jimmy, your cousin is an addict. On your way home, one day, you see Jimmy begging for money. You start your usual, “Jimmy, this stuff is bad for you,” or “Jimmy, you’re too old to be still be like this.” Yada, yada. Jimmy isn’t listening, he just needs those loose dollars in your pocket. You give him what you have and walk off, shaking your head because you can’t understand why Jimmy can’t just leave that stuff alone. Here’s the thing, Jimmy probably wishes he could too, but it’s not as easy as you think. See, it’s easy, to be on the outside, casting your “I think,” judgment but let me ask you … Do you THINK a person who smokes can throw away their cigarettes/weed/nicotine and the taste will magically disappear? It won’t. Do you THINK an abusive person can up and walk away from their abuser, the first or fifth time they get hurt? They can’t. Do you THINK a person addicted to drugs and alcohol can just give it up, without ever wanting it again? They can’t. Sometimes, you have to keep your “I THINK” theology, especially if ain’t nobody asked for it.
Beloved, if getting over addiction was easy, there’d be no need for rehab and twelve-step programs. Here’s what you do … stop scolding folk, who have problems. Heck, they know it and if I can be honest, some of y’all, who always got an opinion, also got an addiction. I said it. Some are addicted to drama and that’s why you’re always in the middle of mess. Some are addicted to inflicting pain, to self, to hurt you before anyone else can. Some of y’all are addicted to Lil Rico and Shaquana but that ain’t my business. Truth is, some of y’all are addicted to self-sabotage because fear makes you believe you can’t do any better. My point, we all have problems and it ain’t as easy as you think, to overcome. Addiction, for some, came from needing a safe place, within their mind when their surroundings weren’t safe. Addiction, for some, was attached to their bloodline and they were the one to fall victim to it. An addiction could have been something used, to stop the thoughts but now they can’t stop it. Stop judging folk’s situation. If you can help, help and if you can’t, refer them to somebody who can but keep your “I think,” theology if it isn’t coming from a pure and sincere place.
Lakisha, the Author 