18 years ago
“Thank you Mr. Frederick, this is just what I need.”
“Is there any else, Camille?”
“What do you mean?” I ask looking confused while grabbing my things.
“Oh come on, you know what I mean. You didn’t come here tonight for help with this assignment because you could have easily figured it out yourself.”
“Um, I’m not following.”
“Sure you are,” he says, smiling.
“Okay, but I’m not sure what you mean. You’ve always helped me before but if it’s a problem, I won’t come to you again.”
“No, no, there’s no problem but you’re not a freshman anymore so now I need some help from you.”
“Oookay,” I say, still confused.
He takes my books and sits them on the floor before taking my hand and placing it between his legs.
I snatch it back. “What in the hell are you doing?”
“Calm down, haven’t you felt a dick before?”
“No, and I don’t appreciate you putting my hand on yours.”
“You’re a virgin?” he asks, smiling.
“I’m going to go because obviously I’ve given you the wrong idea.”
He grabs my arm and pushes me back down on the couch. “You aren’t going anywhere.”
He gets up and locks the door.
“Look Mr. Frederick, I apologize if I gave you the wrong idea but if you let me out of here now, I promise I will not say anything.”
He starts laughing. “You aren’t going anywhere, little girl, and you won’t say anything either, not if you want to finish this program.”
“You heard me. I have the power to make or break you at this school.”
“I’ll take my chances,” I say, trying to grab my books again.
He gets angry and pulls me up to him. “Oh, you’re a feisty little bitch. I like that, but I suggest you shut the fuck up and listen.”
“Please don’t do this.”
“You don’t know when to shut up, do you? Get on your knees.”
Crying, I kneel in front of him as he unbuckles his pants. Shoving his dick in my face, I squirm trying to avoid it but it’s only making him more aroused. Using it to slap me on my lips, he smiles. “Open your mouth.”
Refusing, he grabs my hair and pushes his dick into my mouth, “Suck it!”
I gag from the musty odor of him but he continues to thrust in and out until I almost throw up. Pulling me up by my hair, he licks me on the lips and says, “You’ll get better with practice.”
Turning me around on his desk and snatching my panties from under my dress, he spreads my legs with one of his. He pushes me down as he rubs a finger over my clit.
“I’ve been waiting to sample this pussy,” he tells me, slapping me on the ass. “Relax and you might enjoy it.”
Crying and begging him to stop only makes him more aggressive as he keeps one hand on my back, forcibly holding me down. He’s fumbling around with I’m guessing a condom when I take note of a paperweight sitting on the edge of the desk.
He finally thrusts into me and I cry out.
“Ah,” he moans as he pounds into me. “This is some good, pure pussy.”
He continues, every thrust getting harder and harder with his hand now on the back of my neck.
“Ah, ah!” he grunts before finally pulling out of me.
I lay there a few seconds giving him a minute to back up. Picking up the paperweight from the desk, I swing it towards his head, connecting the first time.
“Dammit!” he yells, stumbling back. “You crazy bitch!”
He walks towards me and I keep swinging.
“Camille, Camille! You’re safe.”
“You’re safe,” says Dr. Melody Scott, my sex therapist, drawing me out of my nightmare.
“What are you apologizing for? For finally letting down your wall?” she asks, handing me a tissue. I didn’t realize tears were rolling down my face.
“I’ve never told anybody that.”
“Because I didn’t want them looking at me with the same look you’re giving me now, that look of pity. Poor Camille, got herself raped—”
“Camille, stop it! I am not looking at you with pity.”
“Of course you are. Isn’t that what you doctors do? Sit up and judge folk because you never do any wrong? Is this not what you were expecting? This, or me having daddy issues?”
“We as doctors don’t judge: we are here to help and no, this isn’t what I was expecting. All I was ever expecting from you is the truth of your problem. And just so you know, I make mistakes too because I’m human.”
“Humph! You could have fooled me, Ms. Sex Therapist Doctor. Sitting here with your hair all nice and neat, fancy suit and shoes, looking like you’ve never sinned.”
“Don’t you look the same way every time you come in here? The only difference is that I don’t run from my problems.”
“Who said I’m running from mine?”
“I am. Have you not realized we’ve been at this for almost two years and this is the first time you’ve ever let me in? Why is that?”
“Because then I have to face the person I was sixteen years ago.”
“But aren’t you tired of running? Aren’t you tired of hiding behind the disguise of Cam?”
“It’s who I am. She’s the one who got me through that.”
“But what are you afraid of now?”
“Of losing her.”
“What makes you think losing her is a bad thing?”
“Because this is all I know. Cam is who I am!”
“And how’s that working for you?”
“It was working great. I was enjoying it quite well until everybody started dipping their nose in my business.”
“Why do you always blame everybody else?”
“Listen Doc, I don’t want to argue today. We’ve made some good progress.”
“Stop taking everything as a joke, Camille.”
“I’m not!” I say, getting angry. “And I am not blaming everyone else. Like I’ve told you before, I don’t have a problem with who I am. I love the shoes I’m walking in.”
“Even if they cause you to lose everything you’ve worked so hard for?”
“Who said they would?”
“Be real for a minute, Camille. Look at everything you’re going through now. Can you honestly say it’s worth it?”
“Well no, but—”
“There is no ‘but’ when it comes to your life. Don’t you get that? You have an opportunity to get it right, at this very moment, yet you’re choosing ‘Cam’ over everything else. Is she worth losing your family, your friends, your career and quite possibly your life?”
I can’t answer.
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