When I say I’ve been feeling some type of way the last few days, it would be an understatement. I can’t seem to explain it but it’s just a feeling. I told my daughter on yesterday that I am so ready for revival tonight, at our church, because I feel like my soul needs reviving. Not because my spirit is broken but simply because I need it back to full strength. See, I am worried about my sister even though her healing is on the way (it can’t come fast enough), I’m a wife, mother, sister, friend, I’m trying to write a 2nd book while promoting the 1st one, working 2 jobs even though I keep saying I am quitting the second one (which I don’t need but I like), changes occurring on the 1st job that could be overwhelming but I’m ready; it’s just a lot. I know you’re probably asking why you won’t slow down but this is the thing; I can’t. Again, you’re probably saying; yes you can but I can’t because I have things to do and every time God wakes me up with a fresh dose of His anointing and the strength to do it, I can’t stop. My best friend said on yesterday, we can’t have you sick too and she was right. Even though my balance is off from fluid in my ears, I’m still functioning. Yea, I could have a woe is me party but why when I’m good? I am good because I am alive, blessed, healthy, still in control of all my faculties, still got my family whose alive and well, still got 2 jobs, a home, a car, friends and even a book that is still in the top 100 on amazon; so I am good however, my soul still needs reviving but that’s alright because I know where to get it from.
This is why I know and believe that God will not put more on us than we can bear. Yes, it gets hard even for the strongest man but we can do it. The average person would have given up by now but it’s not about me because if it was, I’d thrown in the towel by now. Baby, if it was all about me, I’d place junk in your joy so your journey is jumbled, mix misery in your miracles so you’ll miss your mark, test your testimony with temptations so you tarry there, weaken your witnessing so that you’re weep and be weary instead of willingly work, put pain in your praise so that you get no peace, add bitterness to your blood so that you’re bound instead of blessed, feed your fear so that you forget about faith and fail instead of flourish, be foolish instead of fierce and a follower instead of favored. Oh, if it was all about me, I’d push you when you lean instead of propping you up, I’d let you stay down instead of picking you up, I’d laugh when you ask instead of trying to help, I’d be happy about your tears instead of wiping them away, I’d dance when you grieve instead of being there for you, I’d rejoice in your storm instead of holding a umbrella over your head and I’ll shout during your battle instead of helping you fight! However, Nonetheless, Yet; I’m so glad that it’s not about me but it’s about the God in me because when I am nothing but a filthy rag God still finds me good enough to use! My soul needs reviving and I am so glad I have access to the reviver!
Lakisha, the Author 