Daily Devotional – 5/2/12 “Don’t get tired now, keep running!”

Because God has a purpose for you! I know that some days on your Christian journey you get tired and it seems like the more good you try to do, the more the enemy attacks you, right? You know how you’ve managed to balance your checkbook just right and it looks like you may have a few dollars left until the next payday, then something you forgot about goes through and now your checking account is in the negative. Well, that’s just the enemy trying to make you give up on the faith that God said for you to have. Yea, it’s the enemy’s job to knock you off your path because when you’re down, you are more vulnerable to his attack but its God’s job to pick you up, dust you off and start you back on your way. That’s why John 10:10 says, “The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.” I’ve told you, before, that the problems of this world would come but that’s because they’ve been promised to you. However, God left his word for you as a guide to handle and defeat the attacks that are meant to take you out. How do you get what you need to fight this life’s battles? By reading and studying God’s word. Joshua 1:8 says, “Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.” See, when you study God’s word you find out that when trouble comes it’s not that God has forsaken you but it’s to make you stronger, when folks walk away from you it’s because their season was over in your life, when death comes it’s because it’s a part of living, when hurt happens you will know that it won’t last always and when you fall you’ll know that you can get back up. But you have to study! 2 Timothy 2:15 says, “Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.”

Then after you study God’s word, put it to work in your life. Even in the midst of your bad days, struggles, sins, of wanting to throw in the towel, wanting to back slide into the world or be anyone other than who God wants you to be, he’s still here. God says in Genesis 28:15, “I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.” Every day, he gives me a word to share with his people even when I don’t feel worthy of it but I keep going because he doesn’t have to do it. He anoints my head with wisdom even when I’m too stubborn to say thank you. He gives me never-ending strength to handle the devil when he knocks on my door. He allows me to sin and then repent and he still forgives me. And because he does these things for me, who I am to give up just because the race gets longer and harder? God puts strength in our bodies that allows us to push on even though we know we should have passed out long ago. God gives us a fresh anointing every day that allows us to keep standing even though your legs should have given out hours ago. He gives us new mercies every morning that allows us to see the path we are walking even if we never say thank you. Why should you keep running for God because God keeps running for you! How would you be if God gave up so easily on you the way you give up on him when times get hard? Will you still have the job you have, the car you drive, the house you live in, the healing from that disease, the feeling back in your hands, the strength in your legs or the power in your tongue? Yea, the enemy makes living in the world looks great but even a pit bull can be sweet until he decides not to be. Don’t be fooled by folks who think all they have is because of their own doing because the devil blesses too but unlike God, his blessings come with a price. Yea, your husband spoils you with the finest gifts but he also knocks you around for fun every night. Yea, you wear nice clothes but you steal them all and manage to not get caught. No, it wasn’t God that allowed the security guards to walk passed you because God won’t cover your mess, but the devil does because it makes the payback harder for you.

I know you had it “going on” when you were in the world and now it seems like you can never make ends meet since you became a Christian, but keep running. I know that you had more friends than time to spend with them before you chose God’s side but keep running. I know that you never wanted for anything and you never had to worry about what folks said before you came to work for God but keep running. 2 Corinthians 4:17 says, “For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!” Don’t give up now just because it seems you’ve had more sick days than well ones, keep running because James 5:15 says, “And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven.” Don’t throw in the towel now because you keep getting passed in the race, keep running because 1 Corinthians 9:24 says, “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it.” Don’t stay down because the count is almost to 10, get back up and keep running because Proverbs 24:16 says, “For the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity.” Just because the way looks dark, keep running because Jesus said in John 8:12, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

So see, your running will pay off but you can’t stop. I know that it’s easy for a person with money to tell you to pray about your situation when you’re struggling but they didn’t always have it good. Don’t get angry at the doctor for telling you it’ll be alright after diagnosing you with cancer because you don’t know what he’s been through. Don’t hold a grudge against your coworker who always seems to never be without even though you guys seem to be living a similar life, you don’t know the battles she had to fight to be blessed the way she is. Stop wishing for other folks blessings because you don’t know the hell they had to endure to get them. Keep running, stay your course and keep your faith and let God handle it all. Stop wishing for the blessings I’ve received because you didn’t go through the same storm I did to get them. You are wishing for my marriage but you didn’t see the heartache I had to endure to get my spouse. You are wishing for my job but you didn’t see the doors being slammed in my face before I got it. You are wishing for my car but you didn’t see the numerous rejections I received before I received it. You’re wishing for my smile but didn’t see the many nights I cried myself to sleep to get it. You see my life but you didn’t see the battles I had to fight to live it. Be careful what you ask for because your legs may not be as strong as mine to walk the path I did, your shoulders may not carry the weight mine did, your arms might not be strong enough to climb the mountains I had to get over, your feet may not be strong enough to stand in the foot holes made by my enemies and your back probably won’t take as many knives as mine has! God isn’t short on blessings, but you have to have faith that what you’re asking him for he’ll give and then you have to be ready to work for them. You can’t stop running simply because there is an obstacle in your way. You have to jump over it, go through it or around it in order to keep on. Your race won’t always be easy but don’t give up now, keep running because at the finish line you’ll receive the reward that is meant for you.

Daily Devotional – 5/1/12 “Tuesday Prayer when all you have is despair”

“Our Father whose in Heaven, hallowed will be your name, may your kingdom come and your will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven. Lord, I come before your throne this morning to first thank you. I must thank you for sight, hearing, feeling, touching and tasting. Lord, I thank you for blessing my hands so that I can work, I thank you for blessing my feet so that I can walk the right path, I thank you for blessing my mind to know the difference between right and wrong, I thank you for blessing my heart so that I can love, my tongue so that I may speak life and my ears so that I can hear when you’re speaking.

Lord, I must thank you for giving me skin that heals when folk stab me in the back and when I have to spend more time on my knees praying. I thank you for the tears on days when folk do me wrong; I thank you for the comfort you give when I feel so all alone, for the help when I feel helpless and for hope when I feel hopeless. I thank you for strong shoulders to endure life’s troubles and hardships and for strong legs and arms to carry the heavy burdens that life gives.

Lord, I thank you for allowing me to be a vessel of your word even when I’m not perfect, you still use me for your good because you know my worthiness. I’m grateful for the path you’ve placed me on and I’m even more grateful for the forgiveness you give me when I sometimes stumble. Thank you for being a light in my dark places and my GPS when I’m lost. I thank you for my family, friends and even for my enemies who you use as my footstool to elevate me higher.

Now, Lord I ask that you bless the person reading this. Let them know that you’re comfort when they’re grieving, a tear wiper when they’re crying, a deliverer through trials, a company keeper in their lonely hour, a sleeping pill when they’re tossing and turning, a healer when they’re sick, hope when doors are being closed, a guide when they can’t see their way, help when their back is against the wall, a bill extender when money is low, medicine when they can’t afford it, an umbrella when their storms rage, a fence of protection from their enemies, understanding when there isn’t any and joy when the world has taken all they have.

Lord, I don’t know the needs of all those reading this but you do so I ask, if it’s in your will, to stop by and grant the needs that are being whispered this morning. Enlarge territories, break down walls and remove the stumbling blocks that have been placed in their path. Lord, I know that you’re able and I believe that you will. Bless and continue to watch over the children that are growing up in this mean world. Lord they are facing issues and tragedy every day at the hands of folks who are supposed to love them and take care of them, they are struggling to survive when they should be taken care of, hungry when they should be eating, walking the streets when they should be at school and working the streets when they should be asleep.

Lord, I’m asking you to bind peer pressure, bullying, sex, teenage pregnancy and thoughts of suicide. Protect them now God from the hands of the men and women who wish to do them harm, crown their heads with the wisdom and the knowledge to know when to say no and to turn away when they want to say yes. Lord, do it now. Whisper to the children now oh Lord and let them know that you’re a prayer away. Remove the anger from the hearts and tongues of those who need love but don’t have it and renew in your children the right spirit to be healed from whatever addiction, sickness or disease that’s attacking their bodies now. Heal and deliver on today Lord.

Set free whoever is in bondage or in an abusive relationship. Raise up those who have fallen and don’t think they can get up. Feed those who are hungry, clothed those who are cold, cover those who are sleeping outside and release those who are fighting a war within their own mind. Lord, we need you down here and we can’t get along without you. Don’t leave us in the midst of our trials but come in and sup with us. And when you close our eyes on this side, our work down here is done and cross has been carried, let us rest in peaceful sleep until the day you return for us. Do these things for your child now as I humbly submit this prayer to you because it’s in your name I pray.”

Amen

Daily Devotional – 4/30/12 “What are you addicted too?”

I know that someone is dealing with an addiction on today, whether it is an addiction to drugs, alcohol, sex, shopping, cursing, cigarettes, that other man’s wife or that other woman’s husband but I stopped by to tell you, GIVE IT TO GOD! Yea, you’ve been praying for God to take the taste for the addiction from your lips but God can’t do that until you give it to him. Don’t you know if God takes anything that’s not his that would make him a thief? See, God didn’t give you the addiction but your flesh did so the only way for him to take it from your grasp, you have to give it to him. God doesn’t steal but he sure does heal, but you have to make the first step. If you’re holding on to something that you know keeps you out of the realm of God, give it to him. Will the desire for it disappear overnight, no but it’ll happen if you have faith that it can be done and then work towards it because God never fails. It won’t be easy but what is? 1 Corinthians 10:13 says, “The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.” See, having an addiction is something that most have dealt with, so it’s not uncommon. As a matter of fact, everyone has somebody in their family that is addicts so don’t think you’re in this thing alone but there is help and hope for you, when you’re ready, because YOU have to be ready. Step away from whatever or whoever is holding you hostage in the state that you’re in. Throw away the drugs, cigarettes, pour out the alcohol, stop going to the mall/stores every day and change your phone number, email address and Facebook/Twitter name and then get down on your knees. Let God know that you’re giving him all of the things that are keeping you from being in his line of sight and then pray for healing. Now, get up off your knees and live!

God hasn’t judged you yet so stop allowing people too. You’ve been called a crack head, so what, crack the bible and now head in the right direction. You’ve been called an alcoholic, so what, drink the blood of Jesus now and repent because he has the last say so. You’ve been called an adulterer, so what; you’re an adult so stand up an act like it. Baby, it doesn’t matter what folks call you but it’s what you answer too. See, no one person is better than the other for the bible says in John 13:16, “I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him,” so why are you concerned with what they think anyway? If more folks would help those that are down, the world would be better but instead we kick those who are already down, knock over the ones who are already leaning and cut the rope of those who are barely hanging on. God isn’t pleased. Romans 14:1 says, “Accept other believers who are weak in faith, and don’t argue with them about what they think is right or wrong.” It’s not my place to tell whether what you’re doing is right or wrong but it is my place to tell you the word of God so that you can see for yourself but I can’t do that if I’m in my sin. How can I tell you to stop cursing, when I am cursing every time you see me? How can I tell you that you drink too much when I’m normally drinking with you? How can I tell you that cheating with that girl’s husband is wrong when I was the one that introduced you to him? How can I judge you when I’m also wrong? In order for us to get this thing right, we’ve got to help one another. I can’t talk about you on the left side and then turn around on the right and lend a helping hand because it’s in vain. I have to offer you genuine help in order for you to know that it’s genuine.

Romans 14:13 says, “So let’s stop condemning each other. Decide instead to live in such a way that you will not cause another believer to stumble and fall.” I can’t make you sober but I can help you on the days when the temptation is hard. I can’t make you stop putting the drugs into your body but I can be there for you when you feel yourself falling. I can’t make you stop this or quit that but I can pray with you for guidance. Who am I to judge when I’m not perfect myself? I can’t judge you so I won’t but what I will say is it’s time to give your mess to God. Stop making excuses and start making a plan. You know what your addiction is doing to your life, so make a change. If your friends can’t be a part of your change or are not willing to accept the change that you’ve made, change your friends. 1 Corinthians 15:33 says, “Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”” I’m not saying that they should have to change because you are but they should be acceptable to your change. If you tell your friends that you’ve quit smoking, they shouldn’t offer you cigarettes. If you tell your friends that you aren’t drinking anymore, they shouldn’t buy you wine as gifts. If you tell your friends that you are no longer seeing him/her, they shouldn’t be passing your number out or messages in. A real friend will be acceptable to the good changes you’ve made in your life, especially if they were there to accept the bad ones and you’ll quickly be able to tell the real from the fake as soon as the change is evident. How? Because misery loves company and if you’re no longer miserable, they are no longer available to be company and if they leave, let them go. Some folks are only meant to be in your life for a season/reason anyway but we find ways to hold on to them. When they leave, we go chasing them. When they stop answering phone calls, we send texts. When they don’t come over, we go to them. Let them go! Real friends don’t bail when times get hard but they strap on their battle gear and prepare for war. Real friends don’t allow you to go through things alone but they put knee pads on for the hours of prayer this will take. Real friends don’t wait for a phone call or text because they are already letting themselves into your house telling you to move over in the bed. Real friends can hear it in your voice and in the way you walk when something is wrong, they don’t need clues.

Stop worrying about what folks will say if they knew you had an addiction because they probably got one now or they had one in the past. If the thing that is tied around your neck is keeping you from floating to the surface, you need to cut it off before it drowns you. 1 Peter 5:8 says, “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” Sober doesn’t necessarily mean from drinking because anything that has you addicted has your mind, so sober up, give it to God, pray about it, get up and walk on. God has designed your life so he knew this test will try you before you did but he made you strong enough to overcome it, that’s why Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” God set the path before you and he knew it would get dark sometimes but that’s why Psalm 119:105 says, “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.” God even knew the battle would get hard enough to knock you down and make you feel live giving up but he says in 2 Corinthians 4:17, “For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!” So, don’t give up on God but give up the addiction. When you give your addiction to God, it’s like you’re going into surgery. God tells you to count back starting from 20 and by the time you reach 18, you’re put to sleep (that’s giving him the addiction) but oh when you wake up you know automatically that something is different because you no longer feel the same (that’s God taking the addiction), yea, you got a little pain (temptations) but that’s just your recovery time but when it’s all over and done and you’re healed you feel new, you look new, your walk is new, your talk is new and you act new because 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” When you come out of God’s hospital he says, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past (Isaiah 43:18).” Don’t look back yet look ahead to see all the things that God has for your life!

Daily Devotional – 4/27/12 “You hear but are you listening?”

“I know you hear me talking but are you actually listening?” God is saying go but we are still standing still. God is saying jump but we are still holding on to the ledge. God is saying let it go but we are still holding on to the rope. God is saying let them go but we keep begging them back. God is saying accept the pink slip but we are fighting against it. God is saying listen to the doctor but we are too stubborn to hear. God is saying trust me but we have our ears clouded with worry. Why do you go before the Father for his guidance if you aren’t listening? God asks in Matthew 11:15 (Message Bible) “Are you listening to me? Really listening?” I know you thought there wasn’t a difference in the two but there is. To hear is defined as understanding fully by listening attentively and listening is defined as to concentrate on hearing somebody or something. See, in order to fully understand you have to actually listen and not just hear. It’s like when your mom is talking but you really don’t want to hear what she has to say but when she asks did you hear me and you say yes, you really did but you didn’t listen. Now, after you’ve gone and done the thing or things that she was trying to tell you about, you have to come back to her with your head down and admit your defeat. See, when you are being told something, that’s for your good, you may act like you don’t hear it but it’ll remain in the back of your head. Like when daddy told you that girl that was hanging around was meaning you no good, you heard him but you didn’t listen and when she started showing up on your job acting foolish, busting the windows out your car, slashing your tires and blowing up your phone in the middle of the night; you wish like Heaven you would have listened. When momma told you that boy was the right one for you, you didn’t listen so you treated him like dirt and walked all over him, now he’s married with a family, nice car, house and career and you’re still living at her home begging the courts to increase the child support on your 2 baby daddies. Baby, you better hear and listen.

Proverbs 19:20 says, “Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.” This is why I tell my kids, nieces and nephews that they need to listen to the wisdom of my grandparents while they have a chance because although they make think times have changed and it’s not like it used to be when they were going through, it is. I know the struggles that my grandparents, momma and uncles went through growing up, so I listen to them for Job 12:12 says, “Wisdom is with the aged, and understanding in length of days.” See, wisdom is learned by the tests you overcome, the mistakes you learn from, the obstacles you climbed over and the times you fallen but got back up. Wisdom can’t be bought from a store shelf or even ordered from your favorite online store, but it can be shared. Proverbs 3:13-14 says, “Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding, for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold.” Once you have wisdom, it can’t be taken away because with your wisdom comes knowledge, with knowledge comes understanding and once you have a complete understanding you no longer make the same mistakes you use too. It’s like buying a computer desk and you heard the salesman say you would need the instruction inside the box but you didn’t listen so you threw them out. If the people who made the desk actually thought you could do it with just the picture on the box, they never would have included the instructions but because they’ve been through this before, they’ve gained wisdom and they now acknowledge that in order for you to understand, you need the instructions so they put them in the box. Now, you’ve made 30 mistakes and started over 5 times because although you heard, you didn’t listen.

When God is speaking to you, don’t just hear what he is saying but listen. If you have 15 things going through your mind while God is trying to talk to you, you will hear him but you won’t actually listen. Then you go off and fall, because although you heard God speak you realize that you didn’t listen. You heard God say move and you up and quit your job but you didn’t listen because he said move to the other department because your breakthrough is there. You heard God say divorce and you put your spouse out but you didn’t listen because he said divorce the messy friends so that your marriage can blossom. You heard God say death and now you’ve stopped all your chemo and dialysis but you didn’t listen because he said this disease is death to all the bad things in your body but in the end you’ll live. You heard God say walk over and now you’re walking over everybody in your life when you should have listened because he said walk over the coals in the fire because I’ve placed people around you that won’t let you get burned. You heard God say jump and you jump into the arms of the first woman/man you see when you should have listened because he was saying jump out the way because your enemy is coming. Baby, you’d better start listening because what you’re hearing isn’t what God is saying then you cry that God has forsaken you. No, he hasn’t, you just aren’t listening. Don’t you know that when you fully listen to God you get understanding which clears your mind of ungodly stuff? Then once your mind is clear you can fully hear what is being told to you from others. A coworker and I were talking this morning about this very subject and she made a great point to me. See, when she was going through a divorce she was always fighting with her ex about taking care of his child and she couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t ever give her what she asked for but then as she begin listening to God and her mind cleared she was able to actually listen to what he had been saying all along which was I’ll do whatever my daughter ask of me. He never said he wouldn’t take care of his child but he said he wanted her to ask for what she needed because she was old enough to know and understand her needs. Isn’t that something?

Stop talking so much and listen. Stop just hearing and listen. Stop getting ahead of yourself before you listen to what is being said in its entirety. Haven’t you seen the game shows where someone would buzz in before the question was completely asked and then they’d get the answer wrong because the question wasn’t what they thought it was? When, had they listened they would have known. Stop rushing to do something before you know what the instructions are. Stop rushing to grow up so that you don’t have to listen to your parent’s rules because once you’re grown you’d wish a thousand times to be back home. Stop rushing to get your work done and listen to what your boss had to say because once the mistake is made, you are the only one to blame. Stop and listen and your list of mistakes may get shorter. Job 28:23-28 (Message Bible) says “God alone knows the way to Wisdom, he knows the exact place to find it. He knows where everything is on earth, he sees everything under heaven. After he commanded the winds to blow and measured out the waters, Arranged for the rain and set off explosions of thunder and lightning, He focused on Wisdom, made sure it was all set and tested and ready. Then he addressed the human race: ‘Here it is! Fear-of-the-Lord—that’s Wisdom and Insight means shunning evil.”

Daily Devotional – 4/26/12 “Spare the rod if you want!”

There isn’t anything wrong with disciplining your child and whoever told you it was, lied. I know that maybe hard to believe or even hear but weren’t you disciplined as a child? Well? How’d you turn out? Now-a-days, we have parents who want a better life for their child, than what they had, so they try things differently from what their parents did but what was so wrong with the way you were raised? You may not have had name brand shoes but you had manners. You may not have had what you wanted to eat but you didn’t starve. You may not have had money to hang out with your friends when you wanted but you had morals and values. You might not have had the fanciest clothes to wear but you were never naked. So, was it all bad? Yea, you had to learn to clean the kitchen, wash clothes, take care of your brothers and sisters and cook early but aren’t you glad you did? Don’t get me wrong, I was guilty of that too but I had to wake up. I was spending so much time making sure the kids wanted for nothing that I missed teaching them that it’s not about what you want but what you need. See, when we were growing up my momma was a single mom raising, at the time, 4 girls and she worked a lot which means we had to handle the house when she wasn’t there. When my brothers came along, we helped to raise them because she couldn’t do it on her own, she needed help. While she worked, we became the women of the house; cooking, cleaning and taking care of them. We never missed a meal and we were never without what we needed, maybe without what we wanted but never what we needed. Folks sometimes are amazed to know that we grew up in the projects of North Memphis, but guess what; we had the most fun in those projects because they were home. We enjoyed getting to know our neighbors, hanging out on a Friday night, getting up early Saturday with all the doors opened in the house with the music playing while we cleaned and walking to the store on Sunday morning for Momma’s newspaper and cold cuts, crackers and chips to eat. We went to school because we didn’t have a choice, we didn’t talk back because we had respect, we didn’t fight amongst ourselves because we all had the same thing and when we got into trouble, we got our butts whooped because we knew better.

Now, you let the kids roll their eyes, stomp off, slam doors, talk back, hang up the phone in your face, act out in school (and then you go and act a plum fool), go and do whatever they want, see whoever they want, come in when they want, eat what they want, wear what they want and then you have the nerve to say, “I just want them to have better than what I had.” Baby, please! The bible says in Proverbs 29:15, “To discipline a child produces wisdom, but a mother is disgraced by an undisciplined child.” See, the child isn’t the one looking bad when they are acting up in the middle of a grocery store or being disrespectful at school, it’s the parent. If you start at home, instilling fear in them, they’ll take it with them when they are in public. Think back on a time you cut up with your mom in public and the remembered what she did. My grandmother says, “Wherever they act up at is where you get them.” If we acted up in church, we got disciplined in church and if we acted up in the store, we got disciplined in the store. Our parents and grandparents had no problem getting us back in line. But no, not now! We, as “new age” parents have the game all wrong. We got the nerve to say, “do it again and see if I won’t get you.” What the…! Why are they getting a second chance to talk back when they should be holding their lips from the sting of your hand? “Girl, slam that door again and see if I don’t come in there!” Are you serious? If I would have attempted to slam a door, I would have been picking up the door after I picked myself up. We allow children to talk back when they don’t like what we say, we go get them fast food if they don’t like what we cook, we allow them to get away with doing nothing in school and then we spend the time trying to get them back on track. Yea, keep on sparing the rod if you want.

Now, I’m not saying whoop the children all day everyday but what I am saying is that sometimes you have to beat the hell out of them because they act like that’s what is in them. Proverbs 29:17 says, “Discipline your children, and they will give you peace of mind and will make your heart glad.” Will they always give you peace, no, but that’s why mistakes are to be learned from. Will they always make your heart glad, no, but that’s why we have prayer. There’s nothing wrong with having an open and honest relationship with your child or children but know when to draw the line. Let them know that you’re their parent first and friend second. Don’t parent them when it’s convenient for you, but parent all the time and then be a convenient friend. Allow them a venting session to say whatever it is they need to say without them getting in trouble but only give them a small amount of time and then it’s over. Stop discussing grown folks business in front of them and it doesn’t matter that they are 17, if they don’t contribute to paying the bills then they should be a part of discussing how to make ends meet and if they don’t buy groceries, then they shouldn’t decide what the menu is for dinner. If you and your spouse are having issues, deal with them behind closed doors and don’t raise your voice to allow them to hear what you’re saying. If you are co-parenting with the other parent whose in a different household, don’t talk negative about the other one and definitely don’t discuss business in front of the child. You have to wonder why your child doesn’t respect her daddy when you keep telling her that her daddy isn’t anything. Yea, he may not have been anything to you but to her he’s her daddy. You don’t know why your child follows the rules at your house and then cuts up at his mom’s, well, it maybe because you say stuff like, “Your mom may let you get away with that over there but not in my house,” when you should be discipline his butt for both houses if she can’t.

If they need discipline, give it to them because it didn’t kill you and you had it much worse. Proverbs 23:13 says, “Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die.” If they need to be punished, do it! If they can’t go to school and do what they are supposed to do, then they don’t need a cellphone. If they are disrespectful and not minding in your face, they don’t need Facebook. If they can’t follow directions, then they don’t need to be following anybody on Twitter and if they can’t tell the time and be home before curfew they shouldn’t be going anywhere. Stop giving in so quickly, if you say 2 days stick to it. Don’t think because your child is mad now at the way you are they will always be because although they don’t appreciate it now, they will. If you build them up on a solid foundation, no matter what they go through and they will have to go through some things, it’ll always remain!