Daily Devotional – 5/30/12 “Don’t hide your scars, they have a story to tell!”

You ride in your car that’s been freshly cleaned, smelling and looking good with your fresh cut or hairdo, with that nice suit or cute dress, shoes on point with the biggest smile because you want folks to think that you’re alright, that you have everything together, that you have no worries when that is the farthest from the truth. When you get home, behind closed doors you’re drinking tears for water when you should have joy, you’re pacing the floor when you should be praying, you’re tossing and turning when you should be sleep and you’re worrying when God should be handling it. Baby God never told you to hide who you are from the world because if every time someone who hasn’t found God sees you and you’re always “blessed and highly favored” how would they know that God is good or how would a sinner know God will forgive their sins if you walk around like you’ve never committed any? Haven’t you been reading any of these devotionals when I’ve said sometimes the closest a nonbeliever gets to God is you? Why are you ashamed to let folks know you sometimes have trouble when 1 Peter 4:16 says, “But it is no shame to suffer for being a Christian. Praise God for the privilege of being called by his name?” You do know that you’re not alone, right? Yea, you may cover your scars but they’re still there and hiding it doesn’t make it go away but showing it lets folk know that God will do just what he said he’ll do. See, scars are just trophies the devil gives to let you know he didn’t win but you did. So, don’t be ashamed to let folks see the tear stains on your face because it lets them know you’re alive. Don’t be ashamed to let folks see the marks on your knees because that lets them know your prayer life is active. Don’t be ashamed to let folks see the scars on your back because it lets them know that even after you’ve been betrayed and turned on, God can turn it around to work in your favor. Don’t be afraid to let folks see your bald head after chemo took your hair; it lets them know that God can heal even when the doctors can’t. Don’t be ashamed to tell folks you’ve been to jail or in trouble with the law before because it lets them know that God had to lock you down before you got yourself together. Don’t be ashamed to let folks know you’ve been down in the valley and it didn’t seem like you could get out but you did because it lets them know that God had to knock you down before you realized that life is shorter than you think.


Yea, you thought you had a great marriage until your spouse turned out to be a stranger in your home but that’s just a way for God to show you the wrong in order for you to appreciate the right so don’t be ashamed because it can help someone else by hearing your story. I know, you thought that new job was going to be all you’ve ever wanted until they laid you off after 2 months but that’s just God way of showing that you need to trust in his No’s because he knows what’s best so don’t be scared to share it because it could help somebody else along the way. Yea, you thought that car you bought with your income taxes was the best deal you’ve ever found until you had to leave it on the side of the expressway after the motor went out but that’s just God showing you that not everything that looks good to you is good for you so don’t be ashamed to tell folk so they won’t make the same mistake at the same place you did. See, this is why God gives us tests in order for us to come through with a testimony but a testimony is no good if you don’t share it. Mark 8:38 says, “If anyone is ashamed of me and my message in these adulterous and sinful days, the Son of Man will be ashamed of that person when he returns in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.” God won’t allow you to go through the war or into the wilderness to be killed but he allows you to come out stronger so that you can tell others who are going in its not so bad if they keep their God up. It’s like you’re a walking billboard because how would you know what to try when you go to the store or a fast food restaurant if you didn’t see the advertising in commercials and ads? Well, sharing a testimony is the same way because it allows someone to see just how good God is by viewing your ad (testimony) and then they may want to try Him. It’s not because we have sinned more than the next person the reason why we have storms, trials and some suffering but it is so we can have a story to tell after the clouds have receded and the sun is now shining.


Don’t you know God won’t allow you to go through anything that he hasn’t already prepared you for? That’s why Ephesians 2:10 says, “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” So why are you hiding your scars and keeping your testimony to yourself? God knows what you can handle because he was the one that molded you and he knows how much weight you can carry before he drops it on your shoulder which is why he made you the way you are. God, the potter, knows how strong you are because he was the one to put in you the heat. This is why the storms we face are different from everybody else’s. God knew I couldn’t handle losing my mom but he knew that you were strong enough too just like he knew you couldn’t handle cancer which is why he gave it to someone else. God knows you can’t handle being thrown around by the waves of the ocean which is why he put you on solid ground because he knew you could handle being dragged through the dirt by so called friends. This is why I know it to be true that God will not put more on you that you can absolutely bear. 1 Corinthians 10:13 says, “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” Don’t be afraid to wear your scars because they are just awards to show that although you had to fight, you came out with your head held high because Psalm 28:7 says, “The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.” See, when you have the Lord on your side there is strength and a shield to ward off the enemy. It’s like a bullet-proof vest, when you have it on you may get a few bruises and even be sore after the attack, but it stops the bullet that is meant to kill you. 2 Corinthians 4:8-9 states, “We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair, persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.”


With every battle come wounds that leave scars and after the scars there is complete healing, after the healing there is deliverance and after the deliverance there’s joy! Even when God allows the trouble to come, it may knock you down but it doesn’t come to knock you out so don’t be ashamed of your scars but wear them proud as a sign because they have a story to tell and yours just maybe a bestseller. I won’t allow my book to catch dust but I’ll leave it open on the table for you to read because baby these scars I have, whether visible or not, on my skin made me who I am. The scars on my knees shows that my pray life is busy. The scars on my hands are from me climbing up the rough side of the mountain. The scars on my back are from the folks who said they were for me but stabbed me when I turned around. The stains on my face are from the many nights I had to cry myself to sleep when the world was being extra cruel. The scars under the bottom of my feet are from the many roads I’ve had to travel on my Christian walk. So, whatever you’ve been through, going through or about to go through, don’t let it take you out. Go through it with your God up so that when you come out stronger, it’ll be the next chapter in your book that has no ending.

Daily Devotional – 5/29/12 “Are your memories worth remembering?”

With the Memorial Day Holiday on yesterday, it caused a lot of memories to be brought back of loved ones who are no longer here and even thoughts of servicemen and women who have served this country wholeheartedly and paid the ultimate sacrifice with their life. Some people visited cemeteries to pay their respect by leaving flowers, some enjoyed family time with members who were visiting from out of town and some even spent the much needed vacation at home doing nothing but it didn’t take away from the holiday. Many folks weren’t bothered by the 100 degree heat index to visit the grave-sites of those loved ones and they endured it all because their memory was worth every bead of sweat that formed on every part of their body. Now, my question to you is what memories will you leave behind? Will your memory be worth folks rising early in the morning to endure the heat to add flowers to your grave or will you be a passing thought as the family sits around after eating? Yea, I know you think because you’re young you got time to get it together and to get it right but the bible says in Matthew 24:36, “No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father,” so your eyes aren’t guaranteed to open on tomorrow no more than those of my 84 year old grandfather, so I ask again, what memories are you leaving? See, I’ve learned through the years that it really doesn’t matter about your date of birth or even your date of death because the dash in between the 2 is what speaks the most. Will you leave a memory of being someone who used to be that person no one wanted to see coming or the person that no one could go a day without coming to see? Will you be a person who allowed the world to change them or a person who changed the world to fit them? Will that dash be justified in the story that it tells about the life that you lived? If you have to worry about what folks are saying about you when you leave a room, your memories may be affected when you leave this earth. Are you willing to stand around and listen to what folks have to say about you because you know that even though you made some mistakes, in your life, you learned from them and became the person that God designed you to be or will you be too ashamed to hear people call you a liar, backstabber, gossiper, ditch digger and unfriendly? The bible tells us in Genesis 1:27, “So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” God didn’t create us to be anything other than a righteous person who strives to be like him. No, he didn’t say we wouldn’t make mistakes because he promised us trouble and with trouble come bad choices/mistakes, but he expects us to repent and learn from the mistakes we’ve made and will make so that we don’t make them again. Will you be perfect, no but this is why Psalm 34:19 says, “A righteous man may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all,” so, there isn’t an excuse for not making your dash count. So I ask again, will your memories be worth remembering?

You have to realize that although you don’t care what folks think now, those same folk have to eulogize you when you’re gone and I don’t want anyone standing over my casket lying about how much they loved me when they couldn’t stand the sight of me living. Even if you don’t love me, like me enough to tell me when I need to get it together and when I’m wrong. I want my memory to be worth remembering, don’t you? Yea, some of our dashes will be longer than others, depending on the years that we are given by God, but it doesn’t mean we work any less to make it count for something. Just because you think you’re all that and a bag of chips, it doesn’t mean the world does so stop walking around acting like your head only points upward because when it points down, you may not have anyone there willing to help you. Stop acting like your hand can’t reach out to help folks because when you become the one reaching out for help, you won’t find any. And if you think you won’t need anybody or that you’ll never fall, keep living. Ecclesiastes 7:20 says, “Not a single person on earth is always good and never sins.” See, those same folks whose shoulders you stood on to lift you up will be the same ones helping you back down when you fall. Those folks whose backs you walked over to cross the valley will be the same ones on their stomach pulling you back up when you fall down into your valley. And you will one day be in the valley because Job 5:7 says, “People are born for trouble as readily as sparks fly up from a fire.” However, folks will only talk about your time in the valley if you never try to get out of it. Oh, but if you come out rejoicing from the valley because it made you stronger, then they’ll remember you as being a fighter against the trials of this world. When you come out of your storm wet and clothes disheveled but not your spirit, folks will remember that. When you come out the fire with your clothes burned, not your spirit and with ashes on your face but not your faith, folks will remember this and this will be the memory they hold and not of you giving up and throwing in the towel when it became too much.

See, somebody can stand and say, “My dash will represent the new me because even though I used to be a drug addict, alcoholic or whoremonger; I committed myself back to God and he dipped my broken body in his blood and I came out clean and whole.” (2 Corinthians 5:17, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”) Someone can stand and say, “My dash will represent the new me because even though I used to lie, cheat and steal, God came into my life when I invited him and now I lie with him during the good and the bad and I only steal away when I need to pray.” (Revelation 3:20, “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.”) Somebody can say, “My dash will say even though I’ve made mistakes, God forgave me and he still forgives me for them over and over, if I ask. (1 John 1:9, “But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.”) Someone can say, “I was once afraid to acknowledge God before folks that I knew but when I realized the power that he can place over my life, how he can bring me through storms, comfort me when friends are gone, heal me when sickness comes and send rest when I toss and turn at night, so I proudly proclaim to be a child of the king, no matter who is listening! (Luke 12:8, “I tell you, whoever acknowledges me before men, the Son of Man will also acknowledge him before the angels of God.) Your memories should be those bad things that you’ve made good and the good things you’ve made better. Your memories should be worth remembering to all those who come in contact with you even if only for a moment.

Will you always be perfect, no but no one is but that doesn’t mean you have to be the best at being the worst. Yea, sure you’ll have days that make you feel like throwing in the towel but that won’t be remembered if you take that same towel to wipe the sweat and keep on going. Will you always have days that make you smile, no, but those won’t be remembered if you don’t take your attitude out on others. When we mess up, God (the potter), take us (the clay), places us back on the wheel in order for him to smooth out the bumps that have formed in us. Then we are molded back into the shape that God wants us to be, placed back into the heat and its then we are able to withstand the heat, a little bit more. See, every time we ask for forgiveness and every time we go in the fire, we come out strong enough to handle being dropped and thrown around without breaking, that’s God remolding us which gives us time to make our dash count. Every time we fall and he allows us to get up or he heals our bodies, he is giving us a chance to make our dash count. Don’t allow your living to be in vain. Just because you’ve made a mistake or committed a sin on yesterday, repent for it, be forgiven and learn from it. Just because you feel the best you have in years, doesn’t mean today won’t be your last day because even on your well days, you are sick enough to die. Don’t wait until tomorrow to talk to God; don’t wait until Monday to start cleaning your life up, don’t wait until Sunday to talk to God and don’t wait until you’re lying on your death bed to confess your wrongs, start today. Forgive those who have hurt you, forget those who have walked away and haven’t looked back, love those that are in your life, help those who hands are out asking, pray for those who need it even if they never ask and tell all about the love of God. Your life has a meaning; the kind of meaning that it has, well that depends on you. Make it count! Make your memories be worth remembering by those you’ll leave behind!

Daily Devotional – 5/25/12 “Friday’s Favor”

Yea, you got favor so stop thinking you don’t. Stop saying that you’re broke because you’re speaking that into existence, simply restate it by saying, “I’m temporarily out of funds.” Stop saying you’re sick because you’re also speaking that into existence, when you should be saying, “I’m just not feeling well.” You are aware by know that the tongue has the power to speak life AND death, right? That’s what the bible says in Proverbs 18:21; yet we still speak things over our own lives and wonder why stuff is always happening. If you keep speaking harm on your son because he’s in the streets, then harm will find him when you should be speaking God’s protection. I’ve learned that most times it’s not because we have been so good that keeps allowing us to live but it’s because of the favor of someone who is praying for us. See, my grandma is the Favor that holds our family together and if you ask anybody else, they’ll tell you the same. Grandma has that type of favor that allows her to whisper a prayer and everything feels different. Our family is and has been extremely blessed but it’s not because we’ve always done what we are supposed to do but it’s because she’s being covered by the favor from God that no man can understand. Yea, she has that favor but we all do because favor is defined as a friendly regard shown toward another especially by a superior. Now, that alone should be enough for you to know that you have favor that will fill you when you feel like falling but if you still need a little bit more, let me give it to you.

  1. You woke up this morning when it could have been the other way and a family member found your body cold with the blood no longer running warm through your veins and your heart not pumping but they didn’t.
  2. After you sat up, you found yourself in your right mind because you remembered where you were instead of somebody having to tell you.
  3. You had the activity of all your limbs and strength because you were able to get out of bed by yourself, bathe and dress yourself and even feed yourself because it could have been the nurse at the nursing home.
  4. You can come and go as you please because you make your own decisions when it could have been the deputy at the prison.
  5. You got a place to stay instead of sleeping outside or in a homeless shelter where you could be fighting with someone over the scraps somebody else threw in the garbage can or begging for money on the corner but you’re not.

If you don’t believe you have favor, look at the person who has their week filled with dialysis or chemo when your week is hanging out with friends or being lazy at home. Look at the many coworkers you have who has experienced death in their family over the last month, when you haven’t. So what if your boyfriend left, spend a few minutes crying and then get over it. Ok, your girlfriend turned out to be somebody other than who you thought, get over it. Your job laid you off, ok, man up and find another one to feed your family. Your car wouldn’t start this morning, ok, call someone or take the bus; the fresh air will do you good. You got a little pain in your body, ok, at least you’re able to feel it. Yea, you may be gifted at what you do but you can’t seem to get where you want to be, so what? This simply means it’s not your time. The bible says in Proverbs 18:16, “A man’s gift makes room for him And brings him before great men.” See, just because you have a gift it doesn’t mean that you’ll be able to open up doors but you have to allow the gift that God has given you to do it. If you’re using the gift that God has given you, for the good, then it’ll go ahead of you and speak on your behalf. Your resume, boss, coworker, spouse or family member can’t speak for you like your gift can. And when you’ve been blessed with a gift, God gives you the favor you need to keep it.

See, it’s like adding flavor to a pot that is cooking on the stove. Once you add the flavor, the smell goes throughout the house and it’ll bring people to the stove wondering what it is that is cooking in that pot smelling that good. It’s the same way with your gift. When you have the gift that God has given and you’re using it to make it fruitful, God will add favor to it and once the favor has been added, it’ll reach folk you had no idea it could. When God adds favor to your life because you’re living right, folk can wish death on you but they can’t kill you. When God adds favor to your living, folk can wish badly on it but they can’t take your joy. When God adds favor to your giving, folk can steal from you but they won’t break you. When God adds favor to your pay, folk can demote you but they won’t decrease your earnings. Oh, when God adds favor to your walk, folk can add obstacles but they won’t stop you from reaching your destination. When God adds favor to your goals, folk can add hurdles but they won’t stop you from reaching them. When God gives you favor, folk can even try to block your blessings but they won’t stop you from receiving them.

You have favor but you need to understand and realize it. If God didn’t give you favor, then why would he keep using you? Stop worrying about what other folks got because they could be great at making stuff look good. Just like an experienced baker can take a cake and add icing and you’d never know it was falling apart. You may be experiencing some rain, heartache, pain, difficulties and confusion in your life now but it’s not the end. Stop acting like God has placed a stop sign at the end of your road when it’s simply a yield sign. This yield sign isn’t there to stop you from moving ahead permanently, it’s simply giving time for the mess to be cleaned from the street. So take this moment and relax. When it’s your time to move, the sign will show GO and when you move this time, you won’t have any potholes or bumps. Besides, the only reason you faced a bumpy ride before is for you to appreciate the smooth sailing from here on out. So stop complaining and start enjoying the scenery because God has given you the favor to do so. Favor means God has faith in you to fulfill the purpose in which he has given you so stop fretting and being fearful and fellowship amongst folk who stands on God’s foundation.”

Daily Devotional – 5/24/12 “Where is you flame resistant barrier?”

When the enemy comes, and he will come, he brings with him a fire that can singe the hairs on the back of your neck. This fire is hot enough to turn your cheeks red just by looking at it and the closer he gets to us, the hotter the fire gets. See, this fire is temptation and the enemy surrounds us with it daily to throw us off the path that God has placed us on but 1 Peter 4:12 says, “Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you.” I know you’re asking why shouldn’t I be surprised but it is because you should already know the devil and the schemes he uses to tempt us away from God’s side and into his. You know how you leave the house after having an argument with your spouse and as soon as you get to work, here comes your coworker in that nice suit or short skirt, smelling all good saying I just stopped by to speak. Or when you’re not getting satisfied, sexually, at home the right way (we are all grown, right?) and just when you’re at your breaking point, you get an email from someone you knew a long time ago. Yea, I know; you’re looking but not touching but if you move close enough to the fire without the right flame resistant barrier, you will get burned. 1 Corinthians 10:13 says, “The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.” Now, please know that although God provides the way out from the fire (temptation), you have to be looking to see it and if you’re smiling in the face of the temptation, then you will miss the open door God placed as your way out.

Yea, you make think that you’ll never do this or do that but the bible says in Mark 14:38, “Keep watch and pray, so that you will not give in to temptation. For the spirit is willing, but the body is weak.” It may only be texting now but eventually you’ll give in to the pressures of the temptation and the only way to be sure you won’t is to take the way out that God is giving. Just because your friend has always been your friend, it doesn’t mean he or she hasn’t thought about what it would be like to get with you, so instead of calling them when you have an argument with your significant other, stay home and work it out. When folks are angry or upset, they tend to do things they wouldn’t normally do or say things they wouldn’t normally say; which is why if you argue, take a time out and regroup and then talk it out. When you leave a situation in a fit of rage, you may do something you can’t take back. You know how you get in the car, mad and the first thing that pops in your head is the voice of that “friend” that says; call me if you ever need to talk. Now, you’re headed to their place to talk and before you know it, they are saying all the things you want to hear and now you’ve slipped on top of each other. Yea, right! You put yourself in that position. Don’t be acting like God is testing you, like he did Job because the bible says in James 1:13, “And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, “God is tempting me.” God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else.” Why, because temptations are evil and from evil and they don’t become a reality until we allow them too. James 1:14-16 says, “Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death. So don’t be misled, my dear brothers and sisters.” Yea, he said call him but you didn’t have too. She sent you that picture but she couldn’t have if she didn’t have your number. You made a mistake and slept with him/her because you were drinking but had you not been in a position, alone with them, you wouldn’t have gotten drunk and; well you know! Simply put, don’t allow yourself to get close enough to the fire to get burned.

Will you be tempted by things that can cause you to sin, yes, because that’s the way the devil works. Haven’t you realized that when you start your diet, all the cravings for the things you no longer want are stronger or when you’re trying to quit or overcome an addiction, you want it more than ever before? This is temptation. The day you decide to quick smoking, every commercial on TV is about cigarettes. The day you decide you no longer want to commit adultery is the day they call 50 times, when you hadn’t heard from them in weeks. Turn off the TV, change your phone number, block their email address and put on your flame resistant barrier. See, if the devil can tempt you and you fall for it, he places a checkmark in his win column for the day. This is why you have to have your flame resistant barrier that keeps you from getting too close to the fire. Yea, this flame resistant barrier will allow you to see the fire, but it won’t burn you. This flame resistant barrier keeps your clothes and hair from smelling like smoke, it keeps your feet from getting from getting burned from standing on hot coals and it keeps your lungs and eyes working even when the room is filling with smoke. This is why Ephesians 6:11 says, “Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.” You will face temptations because the devil does all he can to get those that are on God’s side but you can overcome them. If you’ve made a mistake in the past, leave it there and don’t go back to get it. If there is a number in your phone that may cause you to slip, delete it. If there is a friend on Facebook that keeps giving you hints, block them. You can help yourself from getting burned by the fire if you stop wearing gasoline pants into the fire. Stop allowing yourself to be in a position to make a temptation a reality. If someone gives you their number and you know they have a hidden agenda, trash it. If someone invites you somewhere and you know they have their own reasons why, don’t go. Temptations are of the devil but he is only filling the secret desires we have. If your home is in disarray, fix it or at least try too before giving up. If your coworker is over stepping their boundaries, draw the lines with darker ink and make it plain. God gives us what we need to endure and resist temptations but you won’t see it if you aren’t looking. Don’t allow Thursday’s Temptation to send you into Friday’s Fire but seek God and then put on your flame resistant barrier and walk on!

Daily Devotional – 5/23/12 “Why settle when you haven’t negotiated?”

Most times when you settle something you usually negotiate the terms of the settlement before you accept it, right? Then why are you settling for just anything in your Christian life? You settle for the first man/woman who comes along when they could be standing in front of the blessing God sent. You settle for the first loan the car salesman brings when you should be negotiating the terms for the price and payment you want. You settle for the first job that calls because the benefits sound good when your career was calling on the other line. You settle for the second dress that’s in the store when you should have told them to order the one you really want. Stop settling for a Big Mac when you got a taste for Quarter Pounder, make them cook it while you wait. Why are you settling for less when God has given you the means to have so much more? God blessed you with a gift for writing so do not settle for a math degree. God blessed you with the ability to be a great husband/wife, so don’t settle for being someone’s mister or mistress. God gave you the ability to speak life into your dead places so don’t accept when folks say you can’t make it. God has given you favor so don’t accept failure. God has given you love so don’t accept lust. God has given you salvation so don’t accept suicide as a way out. God has given you praise so don’t accept pain. God has given you a life to live so don’t let it pass you by because you choose to settle. You are worthy of so much more. If the person you’re with can’t appreciate what you offer (if you’re offering your absolute best) then you don’t need to spend another day being unappreciated. If the job you currently have can’t appreciate the talent you bring, find one that does. If the kids can appreciate the sacrifices you make to give them all they need and want, then stop giving. You don’t have to settle before you negotiate the terms.

Women, don’t you know that you are worth more than the cubic zirconia type love/support that you’re receiving? Proverbs 31:10 says, “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” A ruby is considered a precious stone and its worth is determined by the brightness of its color which can range from $100 to $15000 per carat. Now, my question to you is, “Is your light worth more than what you’re getting?” Matthew 5:16 “In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.” See, your light shines when you have God on the inside and when it’s bright, men of God will see it and will be attracted to it and those who are of the world will stay away. When your light is bright is blinds those who are not used to looking into and it keeps away worldly mess. Haven’t you heard the saying, “Place your heart into God so that a man would have to go through God to get it?” Well, why are you settling for just anybody? You think just because he was the star of the football team in high school and played during college, that he would make a great husband who could provide but does he know God, does he fear God, does he know how to provide for his family, will he hold on through the storm, take care of you when you’re sick, pick you up when you’re down, pull you back from falling off the ledge, pray with you through the good and the bad, admit when he’s wrong, apologize when it’s needed and treat you like his wife and not his child? If the answer is no, then why are you settling? You don’t have to settle for a man who finds joy in your pain and laughter in the tears you cry. You don’t have to settle for being second best when you should be the starter but you have to want more for yourself. Negotiate the terms of your settlement before you sign on the dotted line because breaking a contract is a lot harder than it looks.

Men, don’t you know that God wants the best for you? Why, because you are the head of your household who represents God before anyone else. Ephesians 5:23 says, “For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.” See, God put you in front so that you’re the first one the world sees and if you’re an outstanding example of what a Godly man is then your family will be too. So, why would you settle for the first girl who batted her fake lashes at you? You do know that if she can’t be real around her husband then she isn’t who she says she is, right? A wife should be your helpmate, somebody who lifts you up and not bring you down, she should have your back when everyone else is against you, she should encourage you when you can’t encourage yourself, pull you up when the world has knocked you down, be there to help you when you’re sick, able to step in if you’re unable to provide, pray with you, ride out the wave when the water gets a little hard to bare, eat noodles when the budget calls for it, not complain when there’s no extra money left for shopping and allow you to cry in front of her without being less than a man. You shouldn’t have to settle for someone whose only concern is the amount of money in your bank account, the type of car you drive, if you wear brand name clothes/shoes and how good you are in bed. You are worthy of being the head because, Genesis 1:26 says, “Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” Yea, God made you in His image which means you are worthy of being the head and not the tail. Stop settling for being a doormat for a woman who is not worthy of the rib that God removed from man to make her. Reach around the mess and get the blessing that God has for you. You, also, have to negotiate the terms of your settlement before you sign on the dotted line because getting out of a contract is a lot harder than it looks.

Being men and women who accept anything and settle for everything causes children to be raised not knowing they are worthy of so much more. Teach young women that they are better than having sex just to hold on to a boy whose not worthy of her heart. Teach young men that they are worthy of more than a girl who only calls when he gets paid from his part time job. Teach young men and women how to carry themselves in a way that is pleasing to God so that he can be pleasing to them. Teach the children how to value their self-worth before accepting the blue book value. We, as adults, have to set a better example for the younger generations who are watching us. We can’t just settle for anything because it looks good at the moment when something much more valuable is within reach. When we settle for anything we sacrifice the salvation that God sends because we lower the standards of who we should be. Oh, but when we negotiate the terms of our settlement we satisfy the Savior by shining our light bright enough to secure somebody who is spiritual enough to meet the standards of God’s plan by standing steadfast during storms and situations, who keeps their mind stayed on God in order to strengthen themselves to succeed during times of suffering and who is sufficient enough to sustain when settling just won’t do. No, we don’t have to settle because settling leads to suffering and why suffer with the wrong one when the right one is a negotiation, (that’s a blessing), away?