Chapter 4 Excerpt (Therapy Session with Dr. Scott)
“Yeah, well, Cam is the only person who has been consistent.”
“Consistent in what, exactly?”
“Everything,” I state. “Without her, I don’t think I would have survived.”
“Girl, Cam isn’t a resolution to your problem, she’s residue and I don’t mean the kind that reminds you of something good. Cam is a constant reminder of what you’re hiding from and as long as she’s here, she’ll taint everything you touch.”
“You say that like it’s easy to forget. I know Cam isn’t good for me but what am I supposed to do? Was I supposed to pray to God when He was the one who allowed that man to hurt me?”
“Camille, God didn’t allow that, evil did.”
“Yeah well, evil or not it happened, and you act like it’s easy to forget that.”
“I never said forgetting but at some point, you’ve got to come out from behind this wall you’ve built and that starts by an inward cleaning.”
“Come with me,” Dr. Scott tells me.
I follow her down the hall to a bathroom. When she opens the door, my mouth drops and my hand flies up to cover my nose.
“You didn’t expect to see this, did you?”
I shake my head no.
“Did you assume this bathroom would be clean?”
“Of course,” I reply.
“Because the house is.”
“Oh, so since this house with its pristine outside is clean, you never would have suspected it to have something so filthy inside, right?”
“To be honest, no. I assumed—”
“You assumed?” she chuckles. “People assume that because we’re fixed up on the outside, from the image we portray that inwardly it’s the same. However, most of us walk around daily, just as filthy as this bathroom because it’s easy to hide, if we close the door. Go on in.”
“What’s the problem?” she questions.
“It stinks in there and it’s full of trash.” I say.
“So,” she shrugs, “your insides stink too. The only difference between you and this bathroom is that it’s filled with trash while you’re filled with shattered pieces of you.”