Dear God … Hear my prayer!
Since the age of 14, Jayme’s life has been hell and she has one person to thank for it, Pastor James Madison.
He stood in the pulpit on Sundays waving the same hands that abused her at night. He glorified God with the same mouth he used to chip away her self-esteem, daily. He was a man of God who had turned her away from the same God he told people they needed to serve.
He was the man who was supposed to pray for, take care of and eventually love her. Instead he preyed on, took advantage of and shattered her heart before it had a chance to truly love someone else.
Now, 14 years and a son later, she finds herself needing God yet she doesn’t know how to reach Him. She longs for God but isn’t sure He can hear a sinner’s prayer until she starts to pray, Dear God…
“Jayme, you will make some mistakes. There will even be days you’re going to lash out and push Jacob away but he will be there.”
“Until he’s not.” I say.
“I’m not going anywhere.” He says coming into the kitchen.
“You say that now but one day your patience will run out. Every day I wake up thinking I am going to fail my son or that I’ll make you hate me because I can’t let you in. I’m trying not too but it’s hard.”
“Where is God Jayme?” His mom asks.
“I wish I knew.”
“He’s right here.” She says touching my chest. “He’s in your heart. You just have to trust that He’ll strengthen you when you’re at your lowest.”
“I’m trying, I promise I am.”
“Can we pray for you?” She asks as Michael and Jace walk into the kitchen.
Jace walks over and grabs my hand. They all surround me and his dad begins to pray and his mom begins speaking in a language I’d never heard of. The more they pray, the harder I cry until I am down on my knees. Jace wraps his arms around me.
“Oh God! Please help me because I am tired and cannot do it anymore.” I hug Jace tighter. After a few minutes I feel hands on my back as Diane begins praying, “Dear God…”