Lakisha, the Author

Devotional — 9/17/21 “Dear Life”

Dear Life,

Mane, you’ve thrown me a few curve balls lately. Just when I thought I had everything planned and things were starting to fall into place, you come and shake stuff up. I was happy then death hit my house, leaving me with pain in places I didn’t know could hurt. I was making plans then sickness showed up and sat me down. I was getting ready to travel until Covid-19 shut the world. I was finally getting out of debt, then I lost my job. I thought I’d dealt with the burden abuse left me with, but quarantine showed me I’d only covered it. I thought I was healed, but you showed me I was simply hiding. Car broke down, kids acting up, dog ran away, depression talking to me … If it isn’t one thing, it’s another.

Man, life. Will things get better? Will the storm ever stop? Will I heal? Will my tears dry up? Life, please answer because I’m tired.

Signed with a sigh,
Me.

Life replying …

Dear Me,

While I wish I could tell you every day will be easy, it won’t. Truth is, you must endure these parts of me as well. You don’t get to love me when it’s easy and leave me when it’s hard. We’re in this together. And stop blaming me, I’m only doing the responsibility of my job. For it was our creator whose authority spoke, “To everything, there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.”

Yes, I show up without warning sometimes, bringing stuff I wish I didn’t have to; but it’s my job. I know it can hurt, but it’s my job. Yet, here’s what I also know. You’re stronger than you think you are. The gray skies of grief, they’ll lighten. The dark nights of depression, they’ll get better. The strong wind of woes, they’ll cease. The heavy downpour of tears, they’ll stop. Yes, you may lose a job, go through breakups, suffer through death, get sick, be lied on, fall, fail, or even feel stuck; yet you’re stronger than you think you are.

Here’s my advice, prepare for what you can and pray for what you can’t. Trust what you can see, faith what you can’t. Do what you can, let God do what you can’t.

It’s hard, some days, but don’t take any days for granted because one day, I’ll end.

Signed with the hope you’ll try again,
Life.

Midnight Prayer

Tonight, as I lay on the couch, I decided to share this again because somebody needs it. Maybe it’s you, the grandmother dealing with grieving grandchildren and cries silently while they sleep, the mother who’s weeping with the eviction notice in her hand, the father who is stressed out because he can’t find a job, the uncle who’s tired from carrying the weight of his family, the aunt who’s secretly fighting a sickness, the sister who’s been having thoughts of suicide, the brother who has seen more friends buried this year than in his lifetime, the cousin who is fearful of the call on their life, the niece who’s afraid to admit her sexuality, the nephew who’s hiding the fact he’s been sexually assaulted, the daughter who’s being bullied and the son who’s been abusing his wife … I’m praying!

I’m praying for the nurse who had to watch another patient die alone, the doctor who has to deliver news that another mother’s son didn’t make it out of surgery, the fireman who couldn’t save the grandmother’s house, the police officer who’s struggling with the job, the EMT who’s stretched thin, but can’t afford to quit, the lawyer who watched his innocent client take a plea to save his/her life, the pastor who’s trying to balance his/her family & church finances, the teacher who’s trying to figure out how to clothe the child, in her class, that’s in need, the business owner who thought about closing twenty times today, the delivery driver who had to pick up extra shifts to cover their child’s school fees despite being tired … I’m praying!

I’m praying for you, my brother and sister. I’m praying for your release, your healing, your strength, your faith, your joy to be returned, for the addiction to be broken, for you to love again, for you to be loved again, for you to heal so that you can stop hurting people, for somebody to take notice and stop the bullying, for your protection, for resources, for your prayer life, your personal life and for your spiritual life. I’m praying for your mind, body, and soul. I’m praying you survive this. I’m praying because you must survive this.

I’m praying for you, mane! ❤️

Devotional – 9/15/21 “Spiritual Labor”

On December 19, 2016, I penned a devotional titled, “Pre-term labor.” Lately, this devotional has been getting attention. I don’t know why, but maybe it’s because we’re amid a pandemic that’s causing you the downtime needed to truly hear God’s voice. Maybe you’ve been spending more time in prayer and feeling pressure you can’t explain. Maybe something is happening within you, spiritually, and the pain is becoming unbearable. Here’s the truth, you may be in labor spiritually.

Well Rev. Kisha, how do I know if this is what I’m experiencing? It’s a simple answer, really. You’ll only experience labor if you have something to birth. In other words, if you’ve been praying, if you’ve been faithful enough to believe God will answer and if you’re waiting in expectancy for said answer and now, you’re experiencing pressure and pain … you may be in labor.

What are the signs?

Your baby “drops” – This is the thing God has allowed you to carry until the expected time of its birth. The business, book, ministry, after school program, mentoring camp, school to finish the degree, etc. is pressing heavy on your mind. You dream about it, see signs and the pressure to push is becoming heavier. Don’t be afraid, you’ve found favor with God.
You start to dilate – For months or years, you’ve tried to get this thing off your vision board and into reality, yet nothing worked. Suddenly, you’re filled with ideas, people are contacting you and things are working in your favor. Yes, there’s going to be moments of pain, but it’s because room must be made to receive what you’re about to birth. It’s scary, but don’t be afraid, you’ve found favor with God.
You feel more pain – Baby, there’s pain with every yes you give God and you can’t expect to birth something big without pain. Yes, it hurts but you’ve found favor with God.
You’re emotional –Your life is about to change. You’re bringing something in the world you didn’t even think you were worthy of. So, it’s natural to be scared, excited, crying, thinking what if you messed this up, etc. It’s okay, you’ve found favor with God.
You’re fatigued – Child, you’re preparing something that’s about to shift your household, break generational curses and leave a legacy for your family. You have a right to be tired because you’ve found favor with God.
You feel the instinct to nest – You couldn’t figure out why you didn’t chase after those who walked away, this time. Why it was easy to delete the group text, throw away the pictures and move away from what was comfortable. You’re nesting. This means, you’re preparing the area to accommodate what you’re about to birth and it needs to be safe, welcoming, and rid of anything that can potentially harm it. Yes, it’s hard but you’ve found favor with God.
You can’t explain the pain - Oh, you thought what you were experiencing was physical? No baby, you’re about to get what you’ve been praying for.

God asks, “Shall I bring to the time of birth, and not cause delivery?” says the LORD. “Shall I who cause delivery shut up the womb?” says your God.” – Isaiah 66:9

Congratulations, you’re in labor and I look forward to seeing and celebrating your blessing.

Wondah Excerpt

**This excerpt contains foul language.**

I was served with the actual divorce summons on Friday. This Negro had me served at our house at 6 AM in the morning by a sheriff’s deputy. As if things aren’t embarrassing enough. Later that afternoon, I met with my attorney, Nina, to fill out all of the appropriate documents necessary for this mess to be over as quickly as possible. She explained everything and said it’s going to take sixty days from the date of filing before a court date will be set for the final divorce hearing, seeing it’s an uncontested divorce. He technically filed on April 1^stand I guess the April Fool’s joke was on me.

I take my journal, drawing over the date I wrote.

June 1, 2020
June first will be sixty days. Sixty days is how long I have to wait to be free from a man who woke up one day no longer loving who I am. He no longer desired the life we built or maybe he no longer desired me. Sixty days. Sixty days is all it takes to dissolve what thirty years created.

Purchase Here

Shaking the thoughts away, I close the journal and pick up my phone to scroll Facebook. Clicking on Harvey’s page, I realize he’s unfriended me. “Bastard,” I mumble going through the few things I can see. I lay the phone down and slide under the cover. Turning on my side, I glare at the pillow that used to belong to him. Picking it up and pressing it to my nose, it still smells like him. Getting angry, I throw the covers back and begin snatching everything from the bed. Pillows, sheets, comforter … everything. As I pull, I scream. Throwing it all into the middle of the floor, I rush into the kitchen getting the largest knife from the drawer. Getting back into the bedroom, I start to cut up the mattress.

“You low down, dirty, piece of shit. I’ve slept next to you never knowing you’d grown tired of me. In this bed.” I stab more spaces. “In this bed is where you held me knowing what you were planning to do. In this bed.” I scream continuing to force the knife in and out. “In this bed is where we made plans. It’s where you made me promises. In this bed. You motherfucker.”

I stab the knife one final time, leaving it there before knocking everything off his nightstand. I bend down, picking up his reading glasses and breaking them in two. The last book he was reading, I tear out the pages. The picture of us, I sling it into the wall.

“You walk away after inflicting this much pain.” I fall into the pile of covers on the floor. “How could he do this?”

Wondah is now available on Kindle eBook, Paperback and Kindle Unlimited.

If God, no baby … WHEN GOD

If we serve a God who allows the sun to shine through rain, don’t you think He has the power to allow us to smile through pain? If the God we serve can create Heaven and Earth with the power of His voice, don’t you know He has the power to give us life with immeasurable joy? If the God we serve can breathe life back into the dead, don’t you think He has strength to lift our bowed down head? If the God of our lives has the power to put a road in the midst of a sea, don’t you think He knows exactly who we’re destined to be?

Beloved, God is not an if God, He’s a when God. If says God may be able to do it, but when says He can do all things, it’s just a matter of timing. If God says there’s a possibility, when God says it’s happening, even if we don’t know the day/hour.

In Mark 9 when the father brought his ill son to Jesus and the disciples couldn’t do what they’d been anointed to do (that’s a blog by itself), he asked Jesus in verse 22, “Have mercy on us and help us, if you can.” To which Jesus replies in verse 23, “What do you mean, ‘If I can’?” Jesus asked. “Anything is possible if a person believes.”

Brother, sister; I don’t know what you’re going through, I don’t know what you’re facing, I don’t know the situation you currently find yourself trying to dig out of, what hopeless circumstances you’re staring at, but will you do me a favor. Will you believe anything is possible with God on your side? Will your trust the God of when, believing it will happen for you? Will you tell God, just like this father told Jesus, “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!”

We don’t serve an if God because if we did, a lot of us would be in worse shape. We serve a WHEN God, we simple have to trust He will do it WHEN He shows up.