Daily Devotional – 12/2/11 “Unpack your bags!”

Have you ever returned from vacation or a business trip with your luggage only to leave it sitting in the corner, to never unpack it? I would probably think not because most of the things you use every day are packed in those bags, right? So, why do you continue to leave bags packed from past trips? You know the trips I’m referring to like the past relationships, past jobs, past hurt and past anger. Because you still have those bags packed, you don’t have room to pack anything else. You can’t go on any new trips because your luggage is still packed with old outdated stuff. Chile, you’d better unpack those bags, burn what’s in them and move on!

You were in a relationship with this man who you thought would be your knight in shining armor. You thought that he was the one that God sent, you know, your soul mate. You put all your trust in him because he could do no wrong. He provided for you, made you feel good with his hands and with his words and you never wanted for anything. He promised that he’d never hurt you because he loved you with his heart and soul. But then one day he falls from the pedestal you’ve placed him on. You found out that your entire relationship has been a lie but know only was he a liar, he was also a cheater because he has been sleeping with your friend. That same friend that you confided in with your deepest, darkest secrets and the same one you told everything too. See, you didn’t notice that while you were talking, she was taking notes. She wanted what you had. Now, you are devastated and you’ve held on to this hurt for 4 years. Since that time he has moved on to another relationship and so has that so-called friend you had but the only one that is stalled in the past is you. You can’t keep a relationship because you still got the baggage from him. You are so busy treating every man like the hurt that is within you that you can’t even see that you’re blocking your blessing. Just because you’ve been hurt it won’t stop you from living unless you allow it too. Don’t you know that because you think that every man will hurt you, you open yourself up to be hurt? You need to let that go. Colossians 3:8 say “But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.” Holding on to things that have hurt you in the past, hinders you. It doesn’t affect the person that hurt you because they have moved on. Stop dwelling in past hurt. The bible state in Luke 6:28 “Bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.”

Don’t you know the more baggage you carry, the more weighted down you are? If you go into the airport these days, they charge you per each bag. If God charged some of with fees for the extra bags we carry daily, we would never be able to repay him. I’ve said this before in a previous devotional, but I must say it again – THE PAST IS THE PAST! Now, I didn’t say memories because those are the thoughts that make you smile when they think about them and those you keep. What I am talking about is the thoughts that make you angry just by bringing it up. Life is designed for us to encounter trouble and with trouble comes mistakes & bad choices. But your life doesn’t have to be consumed by the mistakes and troubles of your past. If you constantly look back, how can you see to move forward? If you constantly compare your new husband or wife to the old one, how can you see the good in him or her? You say but Jimmy use to treat me like this, Sara use to talk to me like that. But guess what, you aren’t married to Jimmy or Sara anymore! If you constantly compare your new job to the old one you use to have, how will you enjoy it? If you constantly talk about things that happened in your childhood, how can you expect to enjoy your adulthood? 2 Corinthians 5:17 states, “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” How can you enjoy your new car if you’re still driving the old one? You’d better let it go now before it’s too late.

If, every morning, you have been given breath in your body to get up with new mercies, new blessings and a new start; why would you use that being bitter and mean? Lamentations 3:22-23 states, “It is of the LORD’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.” If God woke you up, you opened your eyes and could see, you opened your mouth and could speak, you moved your arms and legs and they worked, why would you still get out of bed with a hateful attitude? The saying, let go so you can grow, is true. If you are constantly holding on to rope that is tied to a tree, it will eventually stop you from moving. This is the same hold the past has on you because you choose to let it. You’re still mad at momma because of something she did when you were a teenager. Baby, momma is dead and gone yet you’re still holding on to it. It’s not hurting momma anymore, but it’s consuming you. Let it go! You’re still mad at your last boyfriend/girlfriend because he or she cheated on you and now every guy/girl you meet has to hear about or deal with your insecurities. But the ex-boyfriend/girlfriend has moved on, gotten married and is enjoying life. It’s consuming you, let it go! You’re bitter because the job promoted somebody to a position you thought was yours, now all you do is complain the entire time you there. But the person who got the job has moved on to 2 other positions since then and you still wondering why they keep overlooking you. Let it go! You’ve become so wrapped up in the past hurt that folk don’t even want to talk to you anymore because they are tired of hearing it. Every time you come to a family function, you bring up issues from your childhood that has no bearing on your present life. You think you got punished more than your sister, so you stay mad at daddy. Your brother got to use the car more, so you’re mad at momma. Chile, stop it! You are grown with your own family, stop dwelling on the past! Stop with the pity party because there is nobody willing to join you when they are facing present situations daily.

Sometimes you have to give up stuff in order to be happy. You have to give up that gossiping friend in order to get real friends because no one wants to sit and listen to all her problems after she has had too many drinks. You have to let go of the trifling boyfriend/girlfriend in order to get the husband/wife God has for you because folk is tired of hearing about him not coming home (when you don’t make an effort to fix the problem). You have to let go of that one child that keeps making the same mistakes (put him/her in God’s hands) in order to see the good in your other children. You have to let go of anything that is holding you down. You can’t float to the top if you got weight tied around your ankles. The same way you can’t stop yourself from drowning if you are sitting in a boat that is filling with water. The only way for you to get into a new boat, without a hole, you have to first let go of the one that’s sinking and get out! You have to decide to be happy. Stop wasting the time that you have on being bitter with the world, because the world doesn’t owe you a thing! If every time I see you, you are complaining, I’ll eventually stop running into you. If your invitations are being lost in the mail to family, church or friends functions, it’s not the post office fault but it’s yours! You are losing precious time and once it is gone, you can’t get back! Unpack those bags that are in the corner, in the spare bedroom, closet and attic and release all those things that hold you down. Luke 9:62, “Jesus said to him, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.”

Daily Devotional – 12/1/11 “Eat the cake!”

I’ve never really understood the meaning of you can’t have your cake and eat it too until I recently looked it up, because I’m trying to figure out why can’t I have the cake and then eat it.  But the way this should read is “You can’t eat your cake and have it too!”  Still confusing, I know, but let me elaborate.

You go into a bakery for a piece of strawberry (or whatever flavor) cake and you buy the biggest piece they have.  When you get home you put the cake on the table and it sits there.  What’s the sense in buying the cake if you are not going to eat it?  BUT, if you eat it you will no longer have it.  So you have to choose. If you don’t eat it, it’ll dry out after a few days so it won’t be any good anyway and if you eat it, it’ll be gone but you can always buy another piece, right?

Well take for an example, you’ve been worrying God for a job in the field that you’ve graduated in.  You’ve been applying here and there waiting for the phone call that can possibly change your life.  You know that when you get this job, it’ll be your career with the right money and benefits, so you’re waiting.  Finally your dream job is calling!  You ace the interview and get most of the things you asked for (the cake) and you couldn’t be happier!  The one thing you didn’t realize is the odd hours you will have to work.  Now, you’re complaining because there will be some nights and weekends involved.  This isn’t what you had hoped for, but it’s the job you been waiting for, right?  Well you can’t eat the cake and have it too? Either you take the cake (the job) as is, eat it and move on or you place it on the table (on hold) and watch it dry up, but you can’t do both.  Psalm 37:4 says “Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.” But are you willing to work for that desire?  There’s a slim chance that you will always get exactly what you want every time.  If this is the dream job you’ve always wanted and God has blessed you with it, why are you second guessing it?  Yea, the hours may be horrible to start, but they might not last that way.  Don’t be too quick to give back your blessing because it might not be there the next time you ask.  

Not you?  Well maybe you’ve been praying for a house that you can call a home.  You tell your real estate agent all the things you want; 4 bedrooms, 3 ½ baths, a bonus room, living room, dining room, a spacious kitchen with a separate laundry room.  She or he finds a home that offers all of these things on your list and you go to see it and you’ve claimed it as yours!  You and your husband sit down to discuss the logistics of the sale and you realize the cost of your dream house is over your budget, so you need to think on it.  It has all of the things you want, you love it but is it really worth the extra money? What do you do?  Do you take the cake and eat it (buy the house) or do you sit it on the table (on hold) and let it dry out?  You can’t have it both ways.  Do you sacrifice some things in order to get the blessing that is staring you in the face or do you walk away?  Matthew 7:8 says “For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.”  Didn’t you ask?  God gave it!  Didn’t you seek? God showed you?  Didn’t you knock?  God opened the door for you.  Don’t be too quick to leave your cake on the table because when you come back it just may be gone.  If you’ve done all that God has asked of you and he’ll do all that you ask of him.  God will maintain all that he ordains, but you first have to trust him.  

I understand that telling you to step out on faith is easier than doing it, but how will you know if you don’t try.  I never would have thought that I’d be writing a devotional blog every day for you to read but I am.  You know why? Because I trusted God and I stepped out on faith.  If I failed at it, then I just did.  I won’t cry if I spill the milk, I’ll just wipe it up and do something else.  God has blessed us all with gifts or talents.  Don’t believe me?  Read 1 Corinthians 7:7 which say “I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.”  Or Romans 12:6 that say “We have different gifts, according to the grace given us.” If God has entrusted us with the gifts that we have, why not use them?  What’s the sense of sitting them on a table to dry out, or on a shelf to be covered in dust? In order to increase your gift you have to use it.  It’s like a balloon; in order for the balloon to expand you have to fill it with air.  If there is no air, then the balloon doesn’t serve its purpose.  It’s the same with your gift or talent.  If you have the gift of a beautiful voice, how will you ever increase your range or how can it be heard if you never use it?  If you have the gift of cooking, how can you increase your taste pallet without trying other things or how can you increase the dishes you cook if you never cook anything but the same things over and over?  1 Peter 4:10 say “Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.”

In order for you to climb over the wall you’ve been holding on too, you’ve got to eat the cake.  You want to get a college degree, you’ve had the application in your hand for a while, fill it out (eat the cake)!  You want to change jobs and the promotion has been looking you in the face for a month now, apply for it (eat the cake)! You want to start your small business and the opportunities are there, step out and believe in yourself and do it (eat the cake)!  Get yourself focused, stop waiting on someone else to do something for you, make it happen for yourself because all you have to do is eat the cake.  I can guarantee that if you leave a slice of cake laying on a table in your house on in the break room on your job long enough, somebody will eventually eat it or it will dry out.  One thing about a dried out cake, you can’t add water to it to make it edible once it has.  So eat it now while it’s fresh and good.  Stop putting off for tomorrow the things you can do today.  You’ve been blessed with your talent or gift, use it!  Deuteronomy 31:8 say “Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.”

 

 “There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work.”

1 Corinthians 12:4-6  

Daily Devotional – 11/30/11 “Why are you crying over spilled milk?”

Now, I know that we’ve all heard the saying “Don’t cry over spilled milk.”  But what does that really mean?  (The only reason I would cry over spilled milk is if it was the last and I really wanted cereal.)  After hearing this for as long as I can remember, I know that this saying is not actually referring to milk, but of things that have happened or happen that you have no control over.

Let me explain.  You’ve been married for ten (10) years to your high school sweetheart.  You have the house, car, 2 kids, a dog and all seems to be right in your world.  Your husband is a provider, you all attend church every Sunday as a family and he is a deacon while you sing in the choir.  You know that God has ordained your household, so you aren’t worried.  Then one day your husband comes home early from work and he wants to talk.  He tells you that he’s leaving because he has found somebody else that makes him happier.  He doesn’t want to discuss it because his mind is made up, so he packs his bags and leave.  He leaves you at the table devastated because your world has been turned upside down.  What do you do?  Do you retreat to your bed to cry for 2 weeks straight or do you fall down on your knees asking God to keep you, hold you, wipe your tears and show you the way? Now, you are wondering what you could have done to make him stay.  But I’m here to tell you that no matter what you did or didn’t do, this was a circumstance you had no control over, so why are you crying over the spilled milk?  What you need to do is, pick up the empty carton (you), wipe up the spilled milk (tears) and refill your carton (with God’s word) and move on! If they can walk away from you so easily without a second look, they weren’t yours to begin with and maybe, just maybe, they were standing in the way of the real blessing God has for you!  Be thankful for what you do have and not miserable over what is gone and watch God enlarge your territory.  And I know without a shadow of a doubt that God won’t bring you to anything that he won’t see you through.

This might not be your situation but maybe you’re in a situation where you’ve lost your job and no matter where you go you can’t seem to find one.  You’ve put in, what seems like, 100 applications and nothing has come through.  You and your family are staying with someone else and it’s just not working.  You can’t cook what you want, clean how you want or talk how you want because there is always somebody there.  But what can you do?  They always make it known that this isn’t your house and God, don’t you know it.  You’ve been praying to God and it seems like your prayers aren’t getting through.  Well, they are.  Psalm 34:15 say “The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their cry.”  Baby, God hasn’t forgotten about you.  But if you are asking God to open up the windows of Heaven and send you down a blessing, you have to ask like you really want it, work like you already got it and shout like it’ll never come.  Don’t stop putting in job applications because no one is calling you back, it just means you haven’t filled out the right one.  Apply for some apartments that are based on your income until you find the right one.  Apply for government assistance and don’t be ashamed, that’s what it’s for.  There is no need of crying over the spilled milk (no job, no house, and no car) because crying won’t return those things.  Get up, pick up the carton (classifieds), wipe up the spilled milk (pity, sadness, I can’t do this/that) and refill it (by praying and believing) and get to moving.  James 2:26 says “Just as the body is dead without breath, so also faith is dead without good works.”

There isn’t a need to cry over stuff you can’t change and even if you could what are the tears for?  Don’t get me wrong, sometimes crying is good for the soul.  I say that tears are just liquid prayers when no words will come out but that doesn’t mean you need to cry over everything.  You’re crying because Christmas is coming and you don’t have the money to buy the kids what they want.  So what?  They probably got everything they’ve always wanted anyway and truth be told they don’t need nothing.  So what’s with the tears?  You’re crying because your job laid you off due to the decrease in work and their funds?  So what?  Go and apply for unemployment and get you some food stamps (you’ve been paying for them anyway) and enjoy the break over the holidays.  At the first of the year, go and get you the new job that the old one was blocking.  Have faith and then use faith.  My definition is Finding All Incentives That Help!

If the milk has been spilled clean it up because there is no sense walking around it because eventually it’ll dry up.  If you doubt God’s goodness, your milk is spilled.  Wipe it up and refill your carton with Matthew 8:26 that say “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?”  If you are sick and don’t think you can get well, your milk is spilled.  Wipe it up and refill your carton with Mark 10:52 that say “Go; your faith has made you well.” If you are questioning God, your milk is spilled.  Wipe it up and refill your carton with Ecclesiastes 3:1 that says “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.”  If you’re angry with God because you think he has forgotten you, your milk is spilled.  Wipe it up and refill your carton with Psalm 30:5 that say “For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.”  If you think that you are the only one facing problems, your milk is spilled.  Wipe it up and refill your carton with 2 Corinthians 4:17 that say “For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!”

1 Peter 1:3-9 sums it all up for me.  It says “What a God we have! And how fortunate we are to have him, this Father of our Master Jesus! Because Jesus was raised from the dead, we’ve been given a brand-new life and have everything to live for, including a future in heaven—and the future starts now! God is keeping careful watch over us and the future. The Day is coming when you’ll have it all—life healed and whole. I know how great this makes you feel, even though you have to put up with every kind of aggravation in the meantime. Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure; genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine. When Jesus wraps this all up, it’s your faith, not your gold that God will have on display as evidence of his victory. You never saw him, yet you love him. You still don’t see him, yet you trust him—with laughter and singing. Because you kept on believing, you’ll get what you’re looking forward to: total salvation.” (Message Bible)

Isn’t this great news?  Even though you’re suffering now, God says “I got a reward waiting for you that’ll make you forget all about your past troubles.”  Even though you’ve been lied on and talked about, God says “I’ve got a great reward stored up for you.”  Even though you’ve been thrown in the fire, God says “You won’t be burned because it’s only sealing in your goodness for you shall come out shining like pure gold.”  My faith! Your faith! Our faith! That’s all we need. I don’t know about you but the next time I want to cry over spilled milk, I’ll think before I do.  I can’t change things that I have no control over.  I can’t change folk because I didn’t create them.  I can’t change situations because it’s not for me too.  So, I’ll wipe up the spilled milk and refill my carton!

Daily Devotional – 11/29/11 “Why are you giving up so easily?”

When I wake up in the morning, I sometimes forget to thank God for waking me, but he does it still.  I sometimes rush through my day without acknowledging him after he has protected me on my journey, but he does it still.  I sometimes eat without blessing my food, but yet he continues to give me an appetite and food to eat.  When I got bills due and no money and I worry even though I’m not supposed to, he still sees me through.  When folk talk about me and friends walk away and I don’t understand he guides me.  When I don’t give God his due 10%, he still blesses me with a check and money left over even after the bills.  When I’m too mean to acknowledge him, he still acknowledges me.  If God can love us this much, why can’t we love each other half as much? John 3:16 says “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

1 Corinthians 13:7 says, Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”  So I wonder why we, as Christians, give up so easily when we are supposed to love one another.  You get mad at each other and instead of cooling off for a few minutes, talking and working it out you hold grudges.  If mothers & fathers, sisters & brothers can’t get along with one another, then how can you expect your children to get along?  If all they ever see among you all is fighting, then this is what will happen when they get together. The bible says in James 3:2, “We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.”  Now, I’ve been around for a while and I’ve yet to find a perfect person, so stop thinking that you are.  Yea, I know that you are dealing with a lot of things, but who isn’t?  Talk to somebody, deal with it and get over it.  If your life is miserable, the only person responsible for it is you.  Stop acting like you are the only one that faces trials and tribulations because Job 5:7 says “People are born for trouble as readily as sparks fly up from a fire.” But we feel a little bit of heat and we back up.  If you gave up cooking each time you got burned in the kitchen, you’d never eat.  But just like burns, the old skin peels away and new skin grows.  It’s the same way on this Christian journey.  When folk talk about you, lie on you, knock you down, stab you in the back, turn on you and plants evil in your way, they are simply the old skin peeling away. But when the new skin grows back, you’ll barely have a scar to remind you of the pain you’ve just been through.  Even a potter has to put his pot into a hot fire to cure it before he uses it, but it comes out shining like gold.  So, when the heat feels like it’s getting too hot for you, don’t give up because even if you get a little burned, you won’t even be able to tell it when you heal! 

When our children make mistakes, like they all do, we give up so easily.  Yea, she got pregnant at 16 but so did you and nobody gave up on you.  Did you ever take the time to educate her on how hard it was for you being a teenage parent or the correct way to protect herself when she became sexually active?  Did you even notice the change in her attitude, the way she dressed or carried herself?  Have you taken the time to tell her that she is beautiful and worth waiting for or that she needs to place her heart in God in order for the right boy to find her?  Probably not because, remember, you didn’t have time.  You were so busy from the job you work, the church activities and helping other folk that you’re missing out on raising your own children.  You tell her you don’t care where she goes and who she goes with, so guess what, she doesn’t care either.  What else is she to do?  You’ve given her all the free time she needs to get pregnant, a STD or even HIV.  You’d better take the time to care.  Just in case you didn’t know, you not caring only opens the door for somebody else too, the wrong somebody.  Don’t give up on her, but show her the mistake that she has made so that she learns from and won’t make it again. 

You got a son who is 16 years old.  He was a start athlete and honor roll student and heading into his senior year.  Over the summer he started hanging out with a new set of friends. You notice the sagging pants, the new gold necklace on his neck and the new pair of shoes he is rocking, but you don’t say anything.  When you try to talk to him about it, he doesn’t listen so you stop trying.  He comes in a little later week by week, but you shrug it off.  “I tried to talk to him but he won’t listen,” is what you tell yourself and others.  School starts and he doesn’t have an interest in it anymore but again, you’ve tried to talk to him.  He starts skipping school, grades begin to fall and now he is off the football team.  Now, after giving him up, you try to talk to him but it’s too late.  He thought you didn’t care then, so why are you caring now?  You’re tired and frustrated and have tried all you know to do, so you give up again.  Then one late night, you get a knock at the door from police a detective informing you your son was shot by a rival gang a few blocks from your home.  You’re in shock because you never knew he was even in a gang.  You wonder why, because you gave up too easily.  

Yea, I know that you’ve heard the saying that when you’ve done all you know to do you have to take your hands off, but that’s only when you are placing them in God’s hands.  If you were in a boxing match, you couldn’t throw in the towel and then expect a victory.  But when you throw your towel into God’s ring, you are simply tagging him in to finish the battle for you.  So why are you giving up so easy?  The folk on your job said that you’d never get promoted and now you’re the store manager.  Folk in the church said you’d never amount to nothing, now you’re preaching with your own church.  The people in the neighborhood said you wouldn’t amount to nothing because of how you were raised, but now you’re a college graduate with a career.  “Don’t become like the people of this world. Instead, change the way you think. Then you will always be able to determine what God really wants-what is good, pleasing, and perfect. (Romans 12:2)” You wore hand me down clothes growing up, but look at you now.  You got more clothes than days to wear them and more shoes than places to walk.  You didn’t have much growing up but momma and daddy made a way for you and now you are returning the favor by taking care of them when all of the hateful neighbors ended up in nursing homes. 

Isn’t that enough to make you want to hold on?  You may be struggling with some things and it looks like there isn’t a light at the end of your storm but God says “I am the way and the truth and the life (John 14:6),” so keep walking until the storm clears.  Momma is gone and the holidays are approaching but God says “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28),” so hold on the tears will soon fade away.  You’ve been asking for confirmation on something but God says “when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind (James 1:6),” so ask like it’s already done.  Don’t be quick to give up on God because he won’t give up on you!

I may not have the strongest back, but I’ll pull you up when you fall.  I may not have all of the answers but I’ll answer when you call.  I may not be rich in the world, but if I got it and you need it, I’ll share.  If you need a shoulder to cry on, ears to listen and arms to hold you, I’ll be right there.  I may not be a perfect Christian because I’m an unfinished work of art so if I do something wrong, charge it to my head and not my heart. But don’t give up on me and I won’t give up on you.  Let’s pray this thing out and allow God to see us through.

Daily Devotional – 11/28/11 “Kids, I swear!”

I can remember doing something as a child that I knew I was not supposed to do and then momma would say, “You remember this when you have children.”  Of course as children, you never think about the smart remarks under your breath, coming home late, getting in trouble at school or sometimes talking back, until you actually have children and they start acting like strangers in your house.  You sit back and think about the times you did this or that and ask if the treatment you get now is payback for all the things you did.  You know all the times you skipped school to go met Mr. No Good, when you knew that when momma found out she would spell his name across your backside or the papers you accidentally threw away that had the big F in red across the top that was supposed to be signed and returned.  Do you think about all the things you did then and wonder if now you’re getting back what you put out?  It wasn’t funny then but now that you think about it, it makes you thank God for keeping your crazy behind safe.

I sometimes sit and wonder what makes children try some of the things they do.  They will tell a lie so quick when the truth would surely do.  You ask them if they have homework and they say no before you get the full question out.  You ask them how things are going at school and they’ve made the lie so good that you think they are an angel at school when the teacher hates to see them coming.  We, as parents, have become so busy that we don’t take the time to parent anymore.  We don’t check their backpacks anymore and most kids don’t even carry one and hardly brings books home, but we think they are passing.  But, oh, let the interim come home with the D’s and F’s and we act all shock.  But honey, I’m sure you know your son or daughter by now to know that in order to pass they need to study and if there are no books coming home, it’s most likely none are being opened at school.  I’ve found that the world and its technology has become a hindrance to our kids.  They use so much slang when talking and texting and then we wonder why they fail English and Reading.  We’ve allowed them to talk any way around the house and then wonder why the teacher can’t understand them when they ask a question. 

When my sisters and I were in school, we came home and did our homework at the dining room table.  Momma was a stickler for good handwriting and using wrinkle free, clean notebook paper.  If we had too many eraser marks on our paper, we had to do it over, no questions asked.  But after a while (and many do overs), we knew what momma expected and she no longer had to say it.  We knew that if we bought a bad grade in the house, you got in trouble for it.  Then, we had to answer to granddaddy and he didn’t take excuses.  But now, we go on the kid’s word.  We don’t drop in at the schools, we don’t look in their backpacks/purses, we don’t email the teachers or even use the things that we’ve been given to stay on top of our kids.  We gotten so lazy that we allow them to skate by on education and then once they hit the real world, they can’t make it.  The world is a hard place and it isn’t easy at all to find a decent job that can become a career.  The job place has become so hard, that more people are working beyond retirement years because they can’t afford to retire.  People used to say that it was easy to get a job at a fast food restaurant but it’s not anymore.  Even these places are looking for high school diplomas now. 

We’ve got to get back to caring as parents.  When kids act up and get bad grades, whoop their butts, punish them and take away some of that expensive stuff you’ve bought by going in debt. Get them a library card and make them read more.  Give their tail a bed time and take away the cell phones and computers at that time.  Give them something constructive to do on the weekends instead of hanging out with friends and spending your money.  Stop running to the school showing your tail when you know your child is the class clown.  If you got a problem with the teacher, then handle it with the teacher but don’t put the child in grown folk business.  (Let me throw this in for free, if you co-parent with the mother or father outside of your household, discuss grown folk business out of the presence of the child(ren).)  STOP PUTTING KIDS IN GROWN FOLK BUSINESS.  Whatever issue you got, deal with it like an adult.  Stop with all the cursing, the neck rolling and attitude.  You know good & well your child probably did exactly what the teacher said he or she did but instead you listen when they say “She just don’t like me.”  Yea, she probably doesn’t like them but it doesn’t mean she won’t teach them.  It’s like when you say “I can’t stand you sometimes,” to your child but it doesn’t mean you don’t love them.

I always say that I won’t ever say what my child won’t do out of my presence.  I know that I did things when I wasn’t in the presence of my mom just like you know your child.  So, please stop with all the dramatics when you see her cursing on Facebook or posting inappropriate pictures.  There is nothing wrong with having an open relationship with your son and daughter that allows them a door to talk to you, but it doesn’t mean you stop being a parent and start being a best friend.  You are the parent and that means that you have to parent.  If your son wears a size 30 in pants but you buy him a 34, they will sag.  If your daughter wears a size 13 and you buy a 10, they will be tight.  If you tell her you don’t care what she does, then she won’t care.  If you don’t tell him the safety in wearing a condom while having sex, it’s safe to assume he won’t use them.  If you don’t tell her the proper way for a young man to treat her, she will probably fall for the first one that whispers in her ear or buy her a $5 combo from McDonald’s.  The bible says in Proverbs 22:6 “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” If they do happen to stray, they usually come back because of the training they’ve received.  When you’ve raised a dog from a puppy they know your training and sometimes, like they sometimes do, they run off, stay gone for a few hours or days but they return home.  It’s the same way with children, your job is to train them so that they know right from wrong and when they make a bad choice they learn from it. 

It is getting harder and harder to raise children.  Whether you are a single parent or in a 2 parent household, it’s hard.  That’s why we have to help one another.  If you see my child doing something that you know is wrong, say something and then tell me.  We have to stop putting on blinders when it comes to kids now.  They are growing up faster and the world is changing every day.  Check their backpacks, purses, cell phones, Facebook/MySpace accounts, open the doors in your house to see what they are doing and be careful of the company they keep.  Sit down and talk to their friends and their friend’s parents.  Don’t be quick to drop them off at so & so’s house or allow them to go to everybody’s party.  You are responsible for your child.  If you don’t feel comfortable with the person she is riding with, then say something.  If you don’t feel comfortable with the person whose house he or she is staying over, say something.  Again, you are responsible for your child (ren).  Don’t believe me, read Psalm 127:3 which states, “Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him.” Cherish the gifts you’ve been given because once they are gone, you can’t get them back.