Here it is, Valentine’s Eve. The stores are filled with teddy bears, candy shaped hearts, chocolates and cards of love. Flower shops and jewelry stores are overflowing. Restaurants have double stocked for the crowds. Yet, the sad reality is, some of you haven’t felt loved in a long time. It’s not that you haven’t tried, but you find yourself on the receiving end of hurt. You’ve fasted and prayed but still feeling fatigued and passed over. You’ve tried the relationship thing, sometimes giving the same person chance after chance and in return, nothing.
Right now, you’re probably looking at a text or inbox from somebody of your past and you’re contemplating answering because you’re longing for love. Well beloved, before you make a rash decision to accept the chocolate, respond to the “Happy Valentine’s Day. You know I’ve never stopped loving you” text, take them up on their offer of dinner or open the door to your past; stop and think. Before you get under the influence of drugs, alcohol, peer pressure, lust and/or plain stupidity and do something you might regret; stop and think. How did the handle you, the last time? If it left you with unhappy tears, weight and the thought of acting out; STOP! You don’t need a warm body, a shabby promise or a generic gift to make you feel loved; love your doggone self.
Sure, it’s easy for me to say when I have a whole husband at home who loves me but baby, I love me too. I didn’t always, though. Y’all know my story. I went through a period of messing up because of me. I didn’t feel worthy of anything because I didn’t love the face I’d see. Child, I had to survive me. Now, baby, you can’t tell me nothing about me. I love me! Every pound, scar, flaw and everything else. I had to love me otherwise I’d keep accepting anything, dishing out anything, falling for the lust disguised as love and I’d never know what true love is; even from God.
Look, I’m not trying to be in your business, I only want you healed. See, truth is, some of you have spouses or in a relationship yet you don’t feel loved. It has nothing to do with said spouse, it’s due to the inward battle with self. Maybe it’s because of past abuse, loss and mistakes. Maybe it’s family issues and you never felt love by your parents. Maybe you don’t feel worthy because of how you used to treat people. Beloved, forgive self and LOVE YOU!
This Valentine’s Day, if you’re not in a relationship; buy your own flowers and chocolates and get dressed and take yourself out on a date. Don’t rush into something because you’re ready for someone to occupy the other side of the bed. Don’t rush because you’re ready for your last name to be changed. And don’t hate love.
Bible shares in Matthew 22, verses 36-39, when the Pharisees asked Jesus; “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And He said to him, ‘YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND.’ “This is the great and foremost commandment. “The second is like it, ‘YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.’
The love you have for self, is the love you’ll give. How are you loving you?
Lakisha, the Author 