Yea, I know that you think that folk should gain your trust but who are you to be so picky? Don’t you expect folks to trust you, then why can’t you give them the same? If you’ve met someone or if you’ve known someone and they’ve never given you a reason to not trust them, then you should. Trust them, I mean. Why are you treating your current spouse like they were the one who hurt you because of your previous relationships? It isn’t his/her fault that you picked the wrong people to love/lust on before them so they shouldn’t be held accountable for the pain that was caused to you by them. It’s like you getting mad at your new doctor for the surgery your old doctor performed when it makes no sense. Yea, ok, you’ve been hurt in the past, get over it! I know folks took the love you gave and stepped on it, pick it up and dust it off and get over it! If you are still alive through all that you’ve been through, you are a survivor, so move on. Stop holding on to the things other folks have done because it makes you bitter which then turns to resentment and resentment turns to anger. Now, you’re just one big ball of angry mess who will eventually be left alone. Yes, so your baby daddy turned out to be a deadbeat, well he was probably a deadbeat dude before he ever became a daddy but you were too blinded by the sex to see it. (Harsh but oh so true) Now, you treat every man who comes after the way you should have been treating him before you laid down with him. Child, you better wake up before you send away your true blessing of a man! Yea, your boo thang turned out to be the name of a gardening tool (and I don’t mean rake) and now you got the nerve to be a stalker to every girl you’ve dated since but had you listened to your momma when she said that girl ain’t the one, you wouldn’t be in the mess you’re in. But, no, you decided to give it a try anyway and now you’re making every girl after her pay for the deeds she done. Boy, you’d better man up before you push away the rib you sacrificed to be the one God designed for you.
When you love, that for real shonuff love, you won’t have a problem trusting because love covers whatever ailed you in the past, that’s why 1 John 4:18 says, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.” See, when you love for all the right reasons, there won’t be any wrong reason. This doesn’t mean that you’ll have a perfect relationship because nothing nor anybody is perfect, besides God/Jesus, but what it means is whatever you face you’ll be able to overcome when you handle it together. You’ll deal with the bad days because the good days will outweigh them. You’ll deal with sickness and disease because you’ll have the strength to carry the other one when they can’t walk. You’ll deal with money problems because you’ve learned to live off the little in order to be able to handle when your breakthrough comes. You’ll be able to handle the attacks from the enemy when he sends temptations your way because you have that trust with each other that surpasses other folk’s understanding. When you love with God’s love, trust will automatically come because you’ll be able to handle everything else and then you won’t give up so easily. Psalm 84:12 says, “O LORD Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you!” See, when you trust in God, God places trust in you which then leads to you being abundantly blessed. When you trust in God, God places trust in you and it won’t allow you to dwell in hurtful places because Psalm 31:14-15 says, “But as for me, I trust in You, O LORD, I say, “You are my God.” My times are in Your hand; Deliver me from the hand of my enemies and from those who persecute me.” God will remove you from any situations or circumstances that will causes you harm when your trust is in him. This doesn’t mean that hurt won’t come but God won’t allow you to stay and wallow in it for too long.
Now, trust should be given unless it has been broken in the past, then it is earned but this only refers to the same person. If your teenage daughter has broken the trust that you’ve given her time and time again, then she needs to earn your trust back but don’t hold her accountable for the things her older sister put you through. If your spouse cheated on you, then they should earn your trust back when you forgive but don’t hold their mistakes over their head. If you’ve forgiven someone for things they’ve done to betray your trust, then you have to forget it and let it go and if they have changed and are proving to you that they are worthy of being trusted, give it to them. Don’t keep searching the kid’s rooms, checking your spouse’s pockets, going through the cellphone, cellphone records, looking at emails or following them in a separate car because when you go looking for stuff you find stuff. And when you’re looking, the enemy is constantly whispering in your ear so even if you do find something you’ll turn it into something it’s not because you’re looking at it in anger and from a place of distrust, so you’ll see what you want to see. When you’re looking through distrustful eyes, you’ll turn a meaningless conversation between coworkers into a full relationship. When you’re looking through distrustful eyes, you’ll be quick to listen to your friends who say your spouse is cheating because they saw him/her drop somebody off at home when this isn’t new to you but because it came from someone else, the wheels start turning in your mind. If you forgive then you have to forget because they work together. If you decided to take back the person who broke your trust then you’ve got to start giving them the trust back and stop bringing up their old actions. Matthew 6:14-15 says, “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Besides, you’ve had to be forgiven for things you’ve done in the past so who are you to make other folk suffer for mistakes if they’ve apologized and you say you’ve forgiven them? Don’t be too quick to throw your hands up and the towel in on someone just because they didn’t stay on the pedestal you placed them on because sometimes you can lift a person higher than they are able to handle and when they make a mistake your heart is broken. Leave the elevation to God because when it’s done by him, falling is sometimes in the plan which means you can fall without getting hurt and plus you can get back up better than you were before you fell. God made us so that we could love and being in love means trusting the one you’re with. Trust so that when trials and storms comes you’ll have someone to go through them with.