How can you expect your life to be sane when you have it open for any and everybody to walk through? Your life shouldn’t have a revolving door for folks to walk in and out every time they feel the urge too. If every time the going gets hard and your spouse or significant other runs out faster than the money, they aren’t meant for you. If every time you have a bad day and need someone to talk to and they can’t because they are talking to their friends, then they aren’t meant for you. I’ve found the only places that have revolving doors are the places that expect you to keep coming back to use them. You know like hotels, malls and grocery stores. See, they’ve installed the doors that allow folk to go through quick and easy because they want you to keep coming back and if you’ve installed these types of doors in your life, then you attract those types of people.
We have to guard our lives against the evil of the world and the attacks of the devil and just because something is placed in our path, it doesn’t necessarily mean we have to pick it up to move on. I’ve found that sometimes it’s better to just walk around it to avoid getting the problems that come along with it. This starts by first guarding your heart. Proverbs 4:23 says “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” If you allow every man or woman, that comes into your life, to take a piece of your heart, eventually you won’t have anything left. I’m often reminded of the saying, “If you place your heart in God, folk will have to go through God to get it,” and I’ve found that to be true. But if you got it sitting out on the coffee table, like a bowl of candy, every time somebody walks by they take a piece of it. Don’t believe me, leave some candy lying out and see what happens to it. After folks, who have come for the wrong reason, leave, you’re left with a heart that’s missing pieces. Have you ever put a puzzle together only to get down to the very end to find that some of the pieces are missing? Now all of the hard work you put into completing the puzzle is wasted because with missing pieces, it’s incomplete. It’s the same way with life. If you’ve put years into a relationship and it leaves you with a broken heart, you feel incomplete. Now, unlike a puzzle, you can’t buy another heart and start over but you can repair it before you jump into the next relationship because being incomplete can cause problems, a lot of messy problems. Because Matthew 15:18 says “But the words you speak come from the heart–that’s what defiles you.”
Let me explain what I mean and please excuse my language but we are all adults and some things need to be said. If you dress like a whore (or hoe) then you invite people through your door that treats you like one. You dress in skin-tight jeans, with your butt hanging out and then you have the nerve to get mad when a man grabs you or approaches you like a prostitute but you leave the house looking like one. Another thing that bothers me is the fact that women, young and older, refer to themselves as a bitch but then get mad when someone else calls you one. For those that don’t know the real definition, a bitch is defined as a female canine, a malicious, unpleasant, selfish person, especially a woman; lewd woman; a person who performs demeaning tasks for another; servant or convict who is in a homosexual relationship and/or dominant relationship willingly or unwillingly in the prison setting (www.dictionary.com). Now, I don’t know about you but I’ve never been nor do I intend to be any of those things, so bitch will never be a name I’ll answer too. Just because I may have an attitude or think a little more about me than you do, it doesn’t place me in this category. If you’re a single mom and you allow every man who whispers in your ear to come and lay up in your home, what kind of example are you setting for your children? How can they really learn what a meaningful relationship is if yours change more than the days on the calendar? Titus 2:3-4 says “Likewise, older women are to show their reverence for God by their behavior. They are not to be gossips or addicted to alcohol, but to be examples of goodness. They should encourage the younger women to love their husbands, to love their children.” How can you raise a woman if you are not willing and able to act like one? It’s like me trying to teach Algebra, when I’ve never taken the class myself. How can I expect others to understand what I’m teaching, if I haven’t learned it for myself?
Please don’t get me wrong because I am not telling you to close the door on life or stop living but I am saying that may be you should do some security checks. You have to go through them at the airport, court-house; jail houses and even some jobs so why not screen the folk that you allow into your life? Don’t you submit to an interview, background check and drug screening before getting a job then why should your life be any differently? Your employer wants to know who they are hiring and you should want to know who you sleeping with. You meet Joe on Saturday night at the club and talk to him all week, then on Friday night you invite him over to your house and he spends the night and never leaves. Now you got him walking around with your teenage daughters and you know nothing about him. Or you meet Sandra through a mutual friend who has told you all the good things about her. You go out on a few dates and you seem to hit it off because she has the same determination you have and you both have things in common. She’s a mother and you’re a father, so you think this will work. You invite her to move in, after a few months of dating, only to find out she acts like she has split personalities. Now, had you taken the time to look pass the smile and the short skirts she wore, you probably could have pick up on some of the clues but you were blinded by the chatter of friends and the smell of her sweet perfume. You set yourself up for heartache and then you want to cry “Why is the Lord forsaking me?” Baby, God wasn’t in that mess when it started but now you want to call him when you it’s finished. If you are looking for a husband or a wife, then stop! Don’t you realize that if God has already predestined your life then he already has your mate chosen? Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” But he can’t send them if your way is blocked with run down cars that are on flat. In order to receive a blessing, you have to remove those things that are keeping you from getting them. Psalm 37:4 says “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” He didn’t say give him a list of your wants, he simply says put your heart in me and I’ll give you what your heart desires. God wants you to be happy so that you can do his work. You can’t spread his word if you are sitting in a corner crying over someone who wasn’t yours to begin with. You can’t help those in need if you’re at the bar every night drinking away your sorrows. But God said in Matthew 6:23 “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”
If you put God first in your life everything else will have to go through him and going through him protects you from getting hurt. It’s like having unprotected sex and now a few weeks later, you’re crying because you might be pregnant but had you been protected first, then you wouldn’t have these fears later on. Now, I’m not saying God is like unprotected sex, but you get my point! If you protect yourself with God’s blood first, you won’t have fears later on. You have to replace that revolving door that’s in your life and take up that mat that says anyone is welcome. Your life is not meant to include everybody because everybody is not for you. I told you yesterday that some folks closest to you are questioning how you got this and that even though they claim to be happy for you. The best friend that you tell all your business too is secretly wishing to get where you are. You know your friends are messy and they are the main ones causing the trouble in your house but you keep running to them. They are giving you advice on how to get back at your husband, but I can bet you a paycheck they won’t do it to theirs and while they send you out to check his voice mail and text messages, their husband is never at home either, but you can’t talk her into doing it. Child, you’d better wake up! After your husband/wife is gone, that friend is too because I can guarantee she can no longer hang with you because you’re single and even though she tore up your home, she won’t allow you to break up hers. Keep folks, including family, out your business. Whatever happens inside your home ought to stay inside your home. You’ll find that a whole lot of mess stops when you put your lips together and stop talking.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says “Be joyful always, pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”