Daily Devotional – 2/28/12 “Your husband, your helpmate!”

I know this is a daily devotional and there are both men and women readers but this morning, I am talking to the women. Now, I am not bashing you or trying to tell you how you are supposed to be as a woman or wife, but I am simply being obedient to God’s message that he gave me to share. I pray this reaches who ever needed to hear it on today.

I sometimes wonder why it’s so easy to give up on a marriage after all the time and effort that has been placed into it. I also wonder why people enter into a marriage under the umbrella of God, by standing in a church and getting married by their Pastor, only to throw it away a few years later because of worldly issues or gossip. I guess the question is how many people actually get married for love? In this day and time, it’s very rare to see a couple marry and stay married like it used to be. I look at my grandparents who have been married for 60+ years and I sometimes wonder how grandma managed to do it with all the things they had going on back then. Granddaddy was 15 and grandma was 13 when they married and they’ve been together ever since in spite of the obstacles they had to overcome. Grandma handled the home when granddad had to travel and work and she raised 10 children, most times alone, on far less than parents have today yet she held on. I see how she is now that he is sick and even though we think she doesn’t have the strength to take care of his needs and hers, she never waivers in the battle. They can argue one minute and the next she’s cooking dinner, fixing his plate and bringing it to him and the argument isn’t brought up again. However, in this day and time women have become independent so they feel like they don’t need a man to provide for them but the bible says in Genesis 2:18, “The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” As a woman, it is our duty to be the helper to our husband. We are supposed to bring him up when the world beats him down; we are supposed to wipe the tears from his eyes when they fall when he’s having a bad day; we are supposed to care for him when he is sick and listen when he wants to vent about the stress of his day because the bible says in 1 Corinthians 11:9, “for indeed man was not created for the woman’s sake, but woman for the man’s sake.” This doesn’t mean that men are allowed to treat a woman any kind of way because she was made from his rib so he should treat her as he would treat himself because she is a part of him. How do I know that I am a part of my husband because God said so? Let me explain. If God ordained your life and ordered your steps before you were even formed in the womb, don’t you think he knows who you are going to marry? Now, many times we choose folk for ourselves and that doesn’t last but when you allow God to send you to the man who is supposed to be your provider, your protector, your best friend, your confidant, your back washer, your umbrella holder, your car door opener, the arms to hold you when the world is doing you wrong, the secret place you need to go when family isn’t acting right; in other words, your all and all! The bible says in Genesis 2:22, “Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.” See, God brings you to the man who is all you need but you have to let God do it.

Now, you don’t think that other lady’s husband is your soul mate and expect God to bless your relationship. Girl stop! God isn’t messy and he doesn’t deal in mess. What makes you think God will bless your relationship with someone who stood and took vows with another but then sleeps in your bed when it’s convenient? And just because you may call his name a few times when y’all are together, it doesn’t mean he’s in the midst. (It’s harsh but it’s true). What makes you think a man who is cheating on his wife actually respects the one he’s cheating with? You’d better wake up. If you have a man at home who is working and contributing to the household, you’d better be thankful. If you have a man at home who puts gas in your car, you’d better be thankful. If you got a man at home who can tell when you’re having a bad day or knows when you’re uncomfortable in a situation just by the look on your face, you’d better be thankful. And Lord knows, if you have a man that can put up with your crazy family drama, you’d better hold on to him and be thankful. However, if the man you’re married too doesn’t make your eyes light up when he walks into a room, has to be told to check your oil, put gas in the car, asked for money for groceries and can’t be depended on when your car stops, then some changes need to be made. This doesn’t mean call the divorce lawyer, but it means some talking needs to happen. It is a man’s responsibility to be the provider for his wife but how can he be when you’re constantly telling him you can make it with or without him, or saying I don’t need you or always belittling him when he make a mistake. Your husband should be able to make mistakes because after all he is human but that doesn’t mean you kick him while he’s down. If your husband losses his job and he’s trying to get back on his feet, then help him. If your husband can’t let his guard down in front of you then who can he depend on, besides God? Your husband should be able to cry in front of you without feeling weak. Your husband should be able to fail in front of you without being worthless and he should be able to take chances with you as a support. Proverbs 31:11-12 says, “Her husband can trust her and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.”

If your husband needs you then be there for him. Stop allowing your friends to dictate how your marriage/relationship goes. You got the nerve to listen to the friends who have never been married and can’t keep a steady relationship, yet they are quick to give advice. They tell you to go home and check your husband’s phone and your crazy tail do it when he has never given you a reason not to trust him but since they’ve planted the seed of doubt, you keep adding water to it. Now you thinking every time he takes a shower before work he must be seeing somebody who works there or if he is a little late coming home he must have made a stop. Girl, keep on acting crazy and that good man you once had will be gone before you know it. Stop letting folks mess up your home. You’re over at your girlfriend’s house complaining about your husband. He’s smothering me, he always doing everything, I can’t even pump my own gas or he’s always around. But didn’t you pray for a provider, a husband that God said was yours? You don’t understand why he doesn’t want you to hang out every weekend with your friends or why they are always hanging at your house. Then you say, “I just wish he would leave me alone.” Now, he’s fed up with your lack of concern for him and your marriage. He has done all he can do but you say you don’t need to change. He files for divorce and you don’t fight it because you got your girls and they are probably saying “Girl, he ain’t no good no way, you can do better,” so now you’re alone. A few months later you see him in the store but wait, he isn’t alone because the person pushing his basket is the same friend that was listening to all the complaining you were doing. You need to watch your mouth, stay your tail at home and keep your husband! Many times, the ones gossiping are the ones wanting what you have. Will your marriage be perfect all the time? No, but it should be worth working on. Will all the days be good? No, but hold on through the good and the bad. Will the mountain have no bumps and rocks to climb over? No, but the bumps, rocks and grooves gives you something to hold on too going up. Will you sometime argue? Yes, but that means there is making up to do afterwards. Will there be hard times? Yes, maybe even a lot of them but if you go through the hard times together, it’ll make enjoying the good times so much better. Your home should be a place of refuge from the world. When you step inside of your home, you should be able to leave all of the stress behind because you know that being there with your family means you’re safe. Don’t give up so quick on the person whose hand you joined in marriage because the bible says in Mark 10:9, “let no one split apart what God has joined together.” God will do what he said he’ll do, but you have to do your part. A marriage is hard work but it doesn’t have to be hard. Laugh together and if needed, cry together. Live together and love together. Pray together and stay together. Mark 10:8 says, “and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one.”

Daily Devotional – 2/27/12 “Monday’s mess is tomorrow’s message!”

Why do you complain about Monday, when it comes around the same time every week? I would think that if you’re walking on top of the dirt you should have something to be thankful for instead of taking it for granted. Yea, I know you had a long weekend and it seems to fly by although the week creeps slowly, but you’re still alive, aren’t you? Then be grateful. I know you didn’t act like you were supposed to act on Saturday, you didn’t go to church on Sunday, didn’t pay your tithes like you are supposed to and you didn’t thank God like you should but he kept you and you’re alive one more day to change, so start now. There isn’t any need to be mad at Monday because you partied all weekend, when you knew you had to be up to get the kids off to school and then off to work. Just be thankful that your kids got up and that you have a job to go to. Yea, it’s Monday which means a new week and the same routine where there are new responsibilities, new issues, new problems and same bills, the same money in the bank that was there the last time you looked, the same food in the refrigerator and you have the same kids with the same set of problems! So what? There will be circumstances that you face, every day, that seem like they are too big for you to handle. There will always be more bills than money, some dark clouds looming overhead, some sleepless nights, tears to be shed, going left when you should go right, being talked about, lied on, being overlooked for a job that should have been yours, being misused by so-called friends, hated on by family who is supposed to love you and sickness in your body. But these are just some of the things that have been promised because the bible says in Job 5:7, “People are born for trouble as readily as sparks fly up from a fire.” However, no matter what you face, there is nothing too hard for God. God said he’d be our refuge in the time of trouble (Psalm 9:9). He said when we walk in darkness; he’d be our light & our salvation ( Psalm 27:1). He said when family forsakes you; he’d pick you up ( Psalm 27:10). When you feel like your enemies outweigh your friends, he said “I’ll make your enemies your footstool” Acts 2:35. He said, “For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock.” ( Psalm 27:5)

See, Monday comes with mess, Tuesday has Temptations, Wednesday brings weeping, Thursday has troubles, Friday holds failure but then here comes Saturday with strength that allows you to dance into Sunday with Soul Stirring Salvation that allows you to handle the recurring week of Monday mess, Tuesday Temptations and etc. Don’t be too hard on Monday because it’ll come again just as sure as you live. Yet, be thankful. Get up with joy and thanksgiving and then YOU set the tone for your day. If you allow God to direct your path, then you’ll have joy all day long, but if you allow the devil and his folks to steal the joy you got, then they’ve allowed you to push God to the back because God is your joy. If there is no joy in your face, your light of God is off which may mean you need to add some oil to your lamp by praying, fasting and studying God’s word more. Stop blaming the side of the bed you get up on, because it isn’t the problem when you know you sleep on the same side every night. Stop blaming your spouse because if they make you unhappy, leave. Stop blaming the job because if it has you stressed out, find a new one. Stop blaming the car because it wouldn’t start, God gave you legs so walk to the bus stop (you could use the exercise anyway). Stop blaming folk who keep letting you down when you knew they couldn’t keep a promise if it was tied to their arm. God says in John 16:33, “These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.” Which means, even though the world brings you trouble, I’ve already taken over the world, so I got you covered, as long as I’m with you. Jesus says in John 15:18, “If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first.” Now, the world hated Jesus enough to beat him all night long, drag him from judgment hall to judgment hall, make him wear a crown of thorns, speared in the side, nailed his hands and feet to a cross that he had to bear and afterwards buried him in a borrowed grave when he had done no wrong, so comparing your minor troubles to this, has no comparison. When you’re able to handle all those things, then you can complain but until then, rejoice in knowing that God never brings mess that doesn’t have a message.

So, stop wallowing in self-pity and doubt. Get up out the rut you’ve thrown yourself in and do something. If you don’t like your weight, exercise. If you don’t like your hair, cut it or add some to it. If you don’t understand the things in front of you, study. It’s not because it’s Monday that has you in a bad mood, but it’s you. Just as fast as Monday came this morning, Tuesday is on the way, so get prepared. Use Monday’s mess as a message, Tuesday’s Temptations as a testimony, Wednesday’s weeping as a weapon, Thursday’s trouble as a test and Friday’s failure as a footstool. Whatever you go through is not as a means to take you out but simply a way to prepare you for something greater. So smile, because your face and your attitude look better when you do.

Daily Devotional – 2/24/12 “Write your vision, make it plain!”

In the bible, Habakkuk is one of the few books that we rarely hear or even speak about but if you happen to read it, you’ll find it very interesting (I think). Let me tell you why. In Habakkuk 1, Habakkuk is complaining to God because he feels like God isn’t hearing his pleas and cries for help from the violence and evil people that seem to have overtaken their land and when he asked God why, God simply replied in Habakkuk 1:5, “Look at the nations and watch and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe even if you were told.” Habakkuk still complained because he felt as though God was allowing the evil folks to overtake the righteous and kill them but God replied by saying in Habakkuk 2:3 “Write my answer plainly on tablets, so that a runner can carry the correct message to others. This vision is for a future time. It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled. If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed.” See, even though God was answering a complaint by one of his people then, this verse still speaks to us today. Why? Because someone is questioning God about why he allowed death to come into their home or family, someone is asking God why they got cancer, someone is asking God why they lost their job, home or car and someone is asking God why are they alone but God simply says, “Listen to me and write my answer down and make it plain so that others might see.” See, after you’ve gone through your appointed storm or situation and you’ve gotten the answers to your questions or complaints, God says to write them down and share them with others, and this is called your testimony. Now, this isn’t about boasting but it’s about allowing others to see that even though you’ve been through the storm, you can still come out rejoicing. Even though it seems like you weren’t going to make it, you did and it was by God’s grace. On those nights when there was no food, God fed you! On those nights when it seems like you were going to toss and turn all night, God sent rest. These are the types of things we, as Christians, are supposed to share but after we go through our bad winter season, we pack away all the things we needed to survive it and never speak about it again. But Romans 15:4 say, “For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.”

Many times, as Christians, we keep our struggles to ourselves but how can you tell somebody about God’s healing power if you never tell them about your healing? How can you tell someone that God can make a way when it seems like there is no way if you never share how he brought you out? How can you make a sinner in the world believe that God is a provider if you never tell them how he provided for you? How can you tell someone that’s grieving that their joy will return if you never tell them how you got yours back? Psalm 102:18 says, “Let this be written for a future generation, that a people not yet created may praise the LORD.” When you write your testimony down or even when you share by telling, it gives others hope even after you are no longer living. How else would we know about things in the past if we didn’t have history books? You ought to share the goodness of God with folks because not everybody can understand the King James Version of the bible, but your interpretation might just be what they need.

Now, writing the vision and making it plain can also be about you and your endeavors, whether business or personal. How, you may ask? Well, if you’ve ever been interested in starting a business most folks ask for your business plan, right? This is you writing your vision and your vision comes from God, so you’re still being obedient to his word. How can you plan for the future without writing your vision down? How can you teach tomorrow without writing your vision down today? See, your vision is simply a plan for a future event and just like God said, “If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed.” Although it may seem like your vision is slow coming about, just wait and don’t be anxious because usually when you’re anxious you tend to make mistakes and bad judgment. Don’t rush, just wait. Psalm 27:14 says, “Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.” Write your vision but make it plain and wait for God to guide you. There isn’t any sense in writing your vision down and no one can understand it, but make it plain enough for all to get. Trust in God when it comes to his word because he won’t leave you nor will he forsake you. Stop being bound by fear and step out on faith because faith is a belief in what you do not see but acting as if it is already done. Through faith you receive favor and favor makes you fruitful and being fruitful means you’re fulfilling the need and once the need is fulfilled then you’re rewarded! Not a reward by man but rewarded by God who keeps dropping blessings in your bucket even after you feel like you don’t deserve them.

Daily Devotional – 2/23/12 “Mind your own business!”

Now, I know this is a Christian Devotional but sometime you got to break this thing down for better understanding. Johnnie Taylor has a song that’s called “Doing my own thing” and I don’t know why the Lord placed this on my spirit but he did, so I am being obedient. Don’t act like I am stepping outside of Christianity with this because the bible says don’t conform to the patterns of the world, which I’m not, but I’m simply conforming the world to Christianity. The lyrics of the song say “Live it like you want to live it, give it like you want to give it, love like you want to love it, hold it like you want to hold it. It makes me so mad, every time I turn my back, people are talking about me, saying I’m doing this or that but that don’t bother me cause I’m not bothering you, I’m doing my own thang; that’s all I want to do. If I want to go get drunk every night and day, if I don’t throw beer cans in your back yard, what do you have to say? Let me do my thang that’s all I want to do!” Now, I know you’re wondering how this fits in, but let me drop this in your spirit. If more Christian folk would keep their nose out of worldly business, then they could be better Christians. We sit around and gossip with folks about how many baby daddies she got instead of inviting her to church so that she can learn about the worthiness that God has bestowed upon her as a woman. We forward text messages around about the Pastor and then bring that mess to worship service on Sunday instead of listening to the message and if the truth shall be told, you only came to church to see if he was going to say or do something that you can go back and report on. But baby God isn’t fooled by the act you put on. If you would do you own thing, then you wouldn’t have time to worry about foolish mess. 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 says, “Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands, just as we instructed you before. Then people who are not Christians will respect the way you live, and you will not need to depend on others.”

Isn’t that something? When you mind your OWN business, sinners will respect the way you live and you won’t lack for anything. See, when you’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing, on your Christian journey, then God will reward your efforts but as soon as you step foot in someone else’s yard tending to their business, you become messy and messy folks tend to leave a mess! It’s like when you step in mud, no matter how much you try to clean off your shoe, some will still remain and you’ll end up tracking it back into your house. Well, when you dip into other folks business, it also tends to follow you back to your house. Let me explain. You see your neighbor’s husband occasionally and one day you come home from work early and see him with another woman outside of their house. You know it’s not his wife and you know it’s not a sister because a sister and brother don’t act like that so here you go with your nosey self. The next day you happen to see the wife at the mailbox and you run over there to tell it. Now all hell is breaking loss at their house and now the husband is upset and banging on your door. Why, because you should have minded your own business. You don’t know the mentality of folks and you can never tell how they handle certain situations and you could have easily put your family in harm’s way by sticking your finger in someone else’s Kool-Aid. Proverbs 17:9 says, “Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.” Just because it was your eyes that saw, doesn’t mean it should be your tongue that talks. You’ll end up losing a friendship by telling somebody what their man or woman was doing because they tend to believe the one they’re sleeping with over you any day. Mind your own business!

Now, I am not saying be rude or mean, to folks in the world because you are supposed to love everybody but I am saying, know your limit and stay in your lane. The bible says in Colossians 4:5, “Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity.” The outsiders in this text are those who are not in the church. Not necessarily sinners because we are all sinners, the only difference is one repents and one doesn’t. But, this scripture is saying just because you go to church on Sunday and a few days during the week, it doesn’t make you capable of sending me to Heaven or Hell. Just because you know a few scriptures by memory it doesn’t mean you can treat me like I am nothing compared to you. Just because you got a little favor from God, it doesn’t mean you treat me like I am dependent on you when I may ask for a little help. Haven’t you heard that you can be so Heavenly bound that you’re no earthly good? Well, it can happen. You carry the bible under your arm and you act so perfect but you’re human so you have or will make a mistake, so don’t act like you don’t. Stop acting like folks in the world aren’t worthy of a blessing, because it’ll only take one step for you to backslide. It’s sad sometimes how “Christians” act. You turn your nose up at the man at the liquor store who is begging for money, but it could be you. You quickly delete the emails asking for help in raising food for the homeless, but it could be you. You cross the street or roll your window up when you see someone coming who may ask for something, but it could be you. Your blessed life can be turned upside down quicker than a blink of an eye. Don’t act like you’re the only one God can bless but be willing to help somebody sometime. You don’t have to make a show of it or do it for gratification and glory from man because Hebrews 13:16 says, “Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.” You can help folk without being all in their business. If I call and ask you to borrow $20, give it to me if you have it and stop asking all them dang questions! If I ask you to pray for me, do it without needing to know every little bit of what’s going on. Stop being so nosey all the time and mind your own business. I’ve learned if you stay in your own yard (minding your own business), you won’t be involved in drama and mess which takes you off of the path of receiving God’s message which then detours you down the wrong road. Mind your own business and you’ll then have time to hear God’s voice when he’s speaking. Mind your own business and you’ll be alert enough to receive your blessings instead of letting them pass you by.

Daily Devotional – 2/22/12 “Reality TV isn’t real!”

In today’s world, reality TV has become the new thing. You have ladies inviting cameras into their lives and even allow the world to see them act unchristian-like and actually have folks believe it. Since when was it a good thing to be a grown woman fighting on TV with another grown woman? Since when was it cool to walk around flashing money making young girls thinks that it’s easy to come by? Reality TV isn’t real and folks ought to stop buying into the hype because once the cameras stop rolling, the majority of those people go back to their real lives and it’s far from what is being shown. Yea, they make it seem all well and good for the cameras but it scripted for higher ratings. If reality TV is supposed to be real, then why are the producers telling them what to do and how to do it? It’s sad that most folks would rather sell their soul to the devil for a high price instead of standing up to be the person that God has made them. Don’t they realize the bible says, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect (Romans 12:2)? They’ve allowed the world to snatch any religion they have and place it on the back burner. Do you honestly think God is pleased with the mess that folks do for fortune and fame?

Please don’t get me wrong, I am not picking on one TV show because they are all the same, messy! This isn’t the way women should be showing other young women how to act. Basketball Wives (which by the way none of them are) shows young women all they have to do is snatch up a baller and then they’ll be able to live the lavish lifestyle. However, they don’t show the struggles of being a basketball wife, the nights they have to spend alone while he travels, the other women and babies, the sitting on pins & needles wondering if he will get signed back to the team he’s on and if not if someone else will (which may mean he has no job), the constant scrutiny by the media and never having privacy because you’re now in the light. Love & Hip Hop shows the party life but it doesn’t show the battle after the party is over. Yea, most of the women were shown driving expensive cars and wearing expensive clothes and shoes but can you imagine what they had to do to get those things? I’ve learned that if it’s easily given then the cost is usually high to keep it and if you can’t pay the cost then it’s not yours to begin with. And please don’t get me started on any of the Real Housewives shows because everybody knows that none of those are real housewives. If you want somebody to look up too, follow a mom who is up at 5AM getting the kid’s lunches packed, school clothes ironed, backpacks together and the family breakfast made. Then at 7AM she is driving carpool to make sure the kids gets to school, then it’s on to grocery shopping, picking up dry cleaning, paying a few bills and then home to put away the groceries, clean & wash clothes, get dinner started and then off to pick up the kids at 4PM. She may have a soccer game or football practice and then home to finish dinner while helping with homework, feeding the kids, bath time, bed and now she has to tend to her husband who doesn’t understand why she is so tired. She finally lies down at 11PM only to start it all over again in the morning. Now, that’s a real housewife! If life was as easy as having a nanny, chef, housekeeper and driver, wouldn’t we all have it?

See, the world has gotten so caught up in getting rich and living the glamorous lifestyle that God’s word is not being placed in the midst but the bible says in Mark 4:19, “but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful.” Worrying about fame and fortune is like a weed that has wrapped itself around the root of your rosebush. Once the weed has it wrapped up, none of the nutrients the rosebush needs reaches it and it’ll eventually die. Well, when all you desire is wealth and all you do is worry about how to get it, it’ll wrap itself around your root and then all the nutrients you need from God to grow don’t reach you anymore because you’re no longer studying the word or going to church and eventually you’ll wither. If you don’t believe me, read 1 Timothy 6:10 which say, “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.” Haven’t you heard that having more money means more problems? Now, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t strive to prosper because God says in 3 John 1:2, “Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers.” But you should prosper in God’s way which means you can never lose it.

We, as Christians, have to stop trying to conform to the world and that includes reality TV. Just because you see them wearing $300 shoes, it doesn’t mean you take your whole check to buy a pair because if you wear shoes long enough, they’ll wear out and you’ll soon need another pair. Just because TV makes it seem like having all the money in the world is the life to live doesn’t mean it is because what the cameras doesn’t show is the person who cries themselves to sleep at night because they are lonely or the one who is on the verge of suicide because their life has become too stressful. The cameras don’t show the abusive husband or the family that is almost broke and homeless. The cameras don’t show the worry on someone’s face who is trying so hard to fit in that now they’ve turned to drugs and alcohol. The cameras only show what they know the world wants to see and it’s become so glamorous that we’ll work until day comes in and then goes back out to get to that level. But the bible says in Matthew 6:19-20, “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.” God can give you the desires of your heart if you trust him. He can give you what you need, if you ask him. I’ve learned in my adult life that you can’t lose with the gifts that God has given you to use because what God ordains; he gives you the ways and means to maintain! Live a life that is pleasing to God and he’ll do what he does to please you!