We are living in a society where girls think it’s cool to be sexually active at 13, pregnant at 15, called a bitch by their girls, called mane and brah (bro) by a guy they are supposed to be dating and guys think it’s ok to be disrespectful to girls, walk around with their pants sagging and have a baby momma while in high school but I am here to tell you that there’s nothing cool about it. When did it become acceptable to be degraded and used or even be the degrader or user, even at a young age? We allow kids to dress like they want, wear their hair like they want, go wherever and do whatever they want but when did we stop being parents? I can remember growing up and never being allowed to spend the night at other folk’s houses because our parents were concerned for our safety but now when a child ask, we say yes without talking to the other kid’s parents, knowing who all stays in the house, will their mother be home, does she have rules or anything. I mean, what in the world is going on? We stopped disciplining our children because folks said that it’s child abuse but you made it through just fine and you got your butt whooped every time you were out of line, didn’t you? Now, you give a time out for talking back, not doing the chores, failing school, coming home late and lying but baby, in this day and time; it’s time out for time outs. I’ve told you before that the bible says in Proverbs 23:13 “Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die.” I’m not saying they should be disciplined because you just felt like exercising but I am saying discipline them when the time calls for it. If a child who is living in your house, eating your food, watching your cable TV, using your electricity and water and all the amenities you work so hard at having; can stand in your face saying what they won’t do, when they’ll do it and how they’ll do it, they need to have the hell knocked out of them!
Child, it’s time out for babying children. With social networking, cell phones, internet, TV and the fast paced changing of this world; the things you did at 17, children are now doing at 12. Yea, you thought you were doing something when you found your dad’s cigarettes at 13 but kids now know how to buy their own at that age. You were cool when you could sneak a beer from the refrigerator at 16 but kids now are slick enough to have somebody buy them a whole 6 pack. I know you didn’t think your baby was ready for the sex talk but she can probably tell you more than you ever could imagine. Yea, you had sex at 16, 17 but now kids are experimenting at 12 and by the time they get 18, they are parents to 1 or more babies. I’ve learned now that it’s not the boys that are the majority of the problem because the girls are far more aggressive in asking for and getting what they want. With picture messaging, plain text messages have taken on a whole new meaning. Now, girls are taking nude pictures of themselves and passing it to guys because it’s the cool thing to do when it’s actually the dumbest mess I’ve heard of. You don’t check their Facebook pages and cell phones because they won’t let you, Girl you’d better wake up and face reality because once something has been placed on the internet, it is never gone and you can delete it 50 times, it can still be found. Don’t you understand that children have become clever in their antics now? Yea, they use codes and a different lingo to talk and text and it goes right over our heads because we don’t take the time to learn what it means. Do you even know what WTH, WTF, POS, IDGAF, FWM, AF or being on Pluto means? I suggest you take the time to read messages, Facebook posts and Tweets because while you are dropping them off at the movies, they are going out the other door and into a car that’s waiting. STDs and HIV has no name and it’s an epidemic that’s growing faster than it should be. I am not saying that all fault lies with the parents because kids do what they want do when they are not in your presence but don’t act like your child is the best judge of character and won’t ever do wrong. My husband and I are raising a 15 year old daughter and a 12 year old son and sometimes I have to look at these children because although their physical appearance doesn’t change some of their actions make them look different. Will I ever say what they won’t do, NO because peer pressure and society influence plays a big part on the decisions they make and all we can do, as parents, is teach them AND discipline them when they do wrong. Yes, I said discipline because it doesn’t matter how old they are, if they get out of line I have some helpful ways to put them right back in it.
Proverbs 19:18 says “Discipline your children while there is hope. Otherwise you will ruin their lives.” I’ve said before and I’ll say it again, if a child is old enough to hit back, they are old enough to get hit. There isn’t anything cute about your 2 year old hitting you, your 3 year old knowing what music to shake her butt to or a 4 year old cursing at the appropriate time a curse word is needed. Proverbs 29:17 says, “Discipline your children, and they will give you peace of mind and will make your heart glad.” Will they always give you peace, no, but that’s why mistakes are to be learned from. Will they always make your heart glad, no, but that’s why we have prayer. If you discipline them when they do wrong then they’ll know their actions have consequences. You can have an open relationship with your child or children because if you don’t someone else will, but know when to draw the line by letting them know you’re their parent first and friend second. Don’t parent them when it’s convenient because you want to be their friend all the time but parent all the time and then be a convenient friend. Allow them a venting session to say whatever it is they need to say without them getting in trouble but only give them a small amount of time and then it’s over. Allow the opportunity to discuss drugs, alcohol, sex and peer pressure without you getting angry or being judgmental. Don’t always assume, just listen and if discipline is needed, give it. Proverbs 22:6, “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” You need to understand that the atmosphere they are accustomed to will be the atmosphere they sometimes choose. If a girl always see momma cursing and being mean to daddy, they think this is a way a man should be treated and if they see daddy always knocking momma upside the head, then they think this is how a woman should be treated. We have to teach them and although they act like they’ve never been taught sometime, they’ll remember it. We can’t expect them to cook dinner, to clean a bathroom, the kitchen, make a bed or handle household business if we never take the time to show them how. We can’t expect them to be good wives/mothers and husbands/fathers, if we never teach them. Be a parent! Stop acting like you’re a teenager when you’re in your 30s or older. Stop wearing your children’s clothes or dressing like you’re 17, club hopping like you’re 18 or drinking and smoking like you’re 21 because you have to be mindful about the eyes that are watching you. You can’t expect them to get up and go to church on Sunday if you’re hung over and never go yourself. Teach your children how to be productive young men and young women by setting a great example to follow. Discipline them just like you were disciplined before the world does because while you are giving them a time out they are setting a time to go out. The world is cruel and it doesn’t care about your 18 year old “baby” so before they get a cold hard look at reality at the hands of someone else who means them no good, you’d better get a grip and take control. It’s time out for time outs and time in for real life parenting!
Lakisha, the Author 