Daily Devotional – 4/25/12 “Don’t you know that marriage is sacred?”

It’s crazy how fame, fortune, status, TV and folks have taken the sacredness out of marriage. Folks in Hollywood get divorced on Monday and remarried by Sunday, like it’s something that can be easily taken off or put on. Don’t they understand that God is not pleased? Marriage is defined, in the dictionary, as the state of being husband and wife. The bible says in 1 Corinthians 7:1 “But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband.” Now my definition of marriage is, a relationship between 1 man and 1 woman who have chosen to be one with one another but in your decision, you choose to be a prayer partner, a helper, a tag team, a confidant, a back rubber, feet massager, a cook, a company keeper, a bill payer, a secret keeper, a sex toy (yea, your body belongs to the other, read your bible), an encourager, a stress reliever, a door opener and a maid. When you enter into a relationship with someone, you should go in acting like this man or woman is your spouse and you should treat them as such. When you respect your wife/husband, you respect yourself and when you disrespect your wife/husband you also disrespect yourself because you are each a part of each other. Ephesians 5:33 says, “However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

I know, you got married young and marriage just isn’t for you, then why did you do it? I got married on my 21st birthday and although we had our ups and downs in the beginning, I am happy that we chose to stay instead of run all those years ago. See, it’s easy to give up but hard working it out. Now, as we are about to celebrate our 14th wedding anniversary, next week, I’m excited about what God has for us in the years to come. Are all our days great, no but they are good which is much better than bad but that’s because WE choose to make it what it is. The world is already stressful enough without having to come home to stress. Your home should be a place that you enjoy being after the world has walked all over you. You should be able to come home to your spouse and not walk into a war zone but you have to make it what you want it to be. Proverbs 21:9 says, “It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife,” or in the words of my husband, “if momma ain’t happy, the house ain’t happy.”

Your marriage and/or relationship shouldn’t involve family and friends because they make it worse. Your marriage and/or relationship shouldn’t involve other folks PERIOD! When you allow others to come into your relationship it is no longer sacred because you’ve broken the bond by letting them come in. Ephesians 5:31 says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This says father and mother, but it should say, ALL, because having other folks chirping in on your marriage/relationship opens the door to issues. Do you not realize that most of the arguments you have is because of what “they” said? Who are they, anyway? If you’re having problems in your marriage or relationship, the world shouldn’t know it. Yea, I understand that sometimes you need to vent to your girl or talk it out with your boy but that person should be trustworthy enough that they don’t share it with nobody else and you should be the same way for them. A problem only continues when you add to it, the same way a fire keeps burning if you continue to add wood. So what if you argue, get it out and then get over it. It used to amaze me how my grandma and granddad would argue one minute and the next she was asking him what he wanted for dinner, why wasn’t she still mad? Then I had to realize that holding a grudge affects you and the not the person you’re holding it against, so let it go. The bible also says, “And don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil (Ephesians 4:26-27).” When you’ve allowed anger to consume you, it gives the devil a place to grab on too and once he grabs on and the anger continues to build in you, the devil now consumes you and once he does, all hell breaks loose in your home. There is a saying over our bed that says, “Never go to bed angry, always kiss me goodnight.” This is something I had to learn and believe me it was hard but I had to realize that tomorrow is not promised to anyone and the last thing you want is for something to happen to you or your spouse and you or they never got to apologize. Swallow your pride and admit when you’re wrong and even if neither one of you can agree, then agree to disagree and move on. Let the things that happened in the past stay there. There isn’t any since in digging through a box that hasn’t been open in years to bring up something that happened in the past because it no longer matters. Forgive and forget because they have to go together in order to work. Yea, I know you say, “I’ll forgive but I won’t forget,” then you have forgiven because you have to forget in order to truly forgive.

Women are made with the rib of man which means she protects him. Don’t you know that the rib cage protects most of your main organs like the heart, liver and lungs? Well, women, in a sense, you are the protector of your man because although he is the main organ that provides for his family, he couldn’t do it without the protection and covering of you. Because of that, you have to work extra hard to make sure no harm or danger comes his way. Yea, a man is supposed to be the provider and protector but he also needs to know that he has someone covering his back. There isn’t anything wrong with you standing behind him because when you’re behind him, he protects you better. Cut out all the crap, the jealousy and foolishness. If you are with him, trust him! Besides whatever is done in the dark can’t stay hidden. Men, the same goes for you. I’ve never understood being jealous anyway because you ought to be happy that someone is looking at the blessing that you’ve been given as long as they don’t touch. If your marriage is worth saving, save it! If it’s not, then let it go so that you both can move on. Stop dwelling on past mistakes and enjoy the present. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 says, “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” Love is worth enduring when you love the one you’re with. Love is worth the suffering, if you suffer with the one you’re with. Love is worth the down times because it makes you enjoy the up times so much more. Love abides where God is. Make God the head of your marriage and he’ll do the rest. Marriage is a sacred union that God ordains and what he ordains, he will maintain. I am a living testimony!