Daily Devotional – 2/28/12 “Your husband, your helpmate!”

I know this is a daily devotional and there are both men and women readers but this morning, I am talking to the women. Now, I am not bashing you or trying to tell you how you are supposed to be as a woman or wife, but I am simply being obedient to God’s message that he gave me to share. I pray this reaches who ever needed to hear it on today.

I sometimes wonder why it’s so easy to give up on a marriage after all the time and effort that has been placed into it. I also wonder why people enter into a marriage under the umbrella of God, by standing in a church and getting married by their Pastor, only to throw it away a few years later because of worldly issues or gossip. I guess the question is how many people actually get married for love? In this day and time, it’s very rare to see a couple marry and stay married like it used to be. I look at my grandparents who have been married for 60+ years and I sometimes wonder how grandma managed to do it with all the things they had going on back then. Granddaddy was 15 and grandma was 13 when they married and they’ve been together ever since in spite of the obstacles they had to overcome. Grandma handled the home when granddad had to travel and work and she raised 10 children, most times alone, on far less than parents have today yet she held on. I see how she is now that he is sick and even though we think she doesn’t have the strength to take care of his needs and hers, she never waivers in the battle. They can argue one minute and the next she’s cooking dinner, fixing his plate and bringing it to him and the argument isn’t brought up again. However, in this day and time women have become independent so they feel like they don’t need a man to provide for them but the bible says in Genesis 2:18, “The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” As a woman, it is our duty to be the helper to our husband. We are supposed to bring him up when the world beats him down; we are supposed to wipe the tears from his eyes when they fall when he’s having a bad day; we are supposed to care for him when he is sick and listen when he wants to vent about the stress of his day because the bible says in 1 Corinthians 11:9, “for indeed man was not created for the woman’s sake, but woman for the man’s sake.” This doesn’t mean that men are allowed to treat a woman any kind of way because she was made from his rib so he should treat her as he would treat himself because she is a part of him. How do I know that I am a part of my husband because God said so? Let me explain. If God ordained your life and ordered your steps before you were even formed in the womb, don’t you think he knows who you are going to marry? Now, many times we choose folk for ourselves and that doesn’t last but when you allow God to send you to the man who is supposed to be your provider, your protector, your best friend, your confidant, your back washer, your umbrella holder, your car door opener, the arms to hold you when the world is doing you wrong, the secret place you need to go when family isn’t acting right; in other words, your all and all! The bible says in Genesis 2:22, “Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.” See, God brings you to the man who is all you need but you have to let God do it.

Now, you don’t think that other lady’s husband is your soul mate and expect God to bless your relationship. Girl stop! God isn’t messy and he doesn’t deal in mess. What makes you think God will bless your relationship with someone who stood and took vows with another but then sleeps in your bed when it’s convenient? And just because you may call his name a few times when y’all are together, it doesn’t mean he’s in the midst. (It’s harsh but it’s true). What makes you think a man who is cheating on his wife actually respects the one he’s cheating with? You’d better wake up. If you have a man at home who is working and contributing to the household, you’d better be thankful. If you have a man at home who puts gas in your car, you’d better be thankful. If you got a man at home who can tell when you’re having a bad day or knows when you’re uncomfortable in a situation just by the look on your face, you’d better be thankful. And Lord knows, if you have a man that can put up with your crazy family drama, you’d better hold on to him and be thankful. However, if the man you’re married too doesn’t make your eyes light up when he walks into a room, has to be told to check your oil, put gas in the car, asked for money for groceries and can’t be depended on when your car stops, then some changes need to be made. This doesn’t mean call the divorce lawyer, but it means some talking needs to happen. It is a man’s responsibility to be the provider for his wife but how can he be when you’re constantly telling him you can make it with or without him, or saying I don’t need you or always belittling him when he make a mistake. Your husband should be able to make mistakes because after all he is human but that doesn’t mean you kick him while he’s down. If your husband losses his job and he’s trying to get back on his feet, then help him. If your husband can’t let his guard down in front of you then who can he depend on, besides God? Your husband should be able to cry in front of you without feeling weak. Your husband should be able to fail in front of you without being worthless and he should be able to take chances with you as a support. Proverbs 31:11-12 says, “Her husband can trust her and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.”

If your husband needs you then be there for him. Stop allowing your friends to dictate how your marriage/relationship goes. You got the nerve to listen to the friends who have never been married and can’t keep a steady relationship, yet they are quick to give advice. They tell you to go home and check your husband’s phone and your crazy tail do it when he has never given you a reason not to trust him but since they’ve planted the seed of doubt, you keep adding water to it. Now you thinking every time he takes a shower before work he must be seeing somebody who works there or if he is a little late coming home he must have made a stop. Girl, keep on acting crazy and that good man you once had will be gone before you know it. Stop letting folks mess up your home. You’re over at your girlfriend’s house complaining about your husband. He’s smothering me, he always doing everything, I can’t even pump my own gas or he’s always around. But didn’t you pray for a provider, a husband that God said was yours? You don’t understand why he doesn’t want you to hang out every weekend with your friends or why they are always hanging at your house. Then you say, “I just wish he would leave me alone.” Now, he’s fed up with your lack of concern for him and your marriage. He has done all he can do but you say you don’t need to change. He files for divorce and you don’t fight it because you got your girls and they are probably saying “Girl, he ain’t no good no way, you can do better,” so now you’re alone. A few months later you see him in the store but wait, he isn’t alone because the person pushing his basket is the same friend that was listening to all the complaining you were doing. You need to watch your mouth, stay your tail at home and keep your husband! Many times, the ones gossiping are the ones wanting what you have. Will your marriage be perfect all the time? No, but it should be worth working on. Will all the days be good? No, but hold on through the good and the bad. Will the mountain have no bumps and rocks to climb over? No, but the bumps, rocks and grooves gives you something to hold on too going up. Will you sometime argue? Yes, but that means there is making up to do afterwards. Will there be hard times? Yes, maybe even a lot of them but if you go through the hard times together, it’ll make enjoying the good times so much better. Your home should be a place of refuge from the world. When you step inside of your home, you should be able to leave all of the stress behind because you know that being there with your family means you’re safe. Don’t give up so quick on the person whose hand you joined in marriage because the bible says in Mark 10:9, “let no one split apart what God has joined together.” God will do what he said he’ll do, but you have to do your part. A marriage is hard work but it doesn’t have to be hard. Laugh together and if needed, cry together. Live together and love together. Pray together and stay together. Mark 10:8 says, “and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one.”