On last night my cousin Nicole, aunt Evelyn and myself hosted an old fashion lock-in at our church. We have 15 children and they are thoroughly enjoying themselves. As I listened to the laughing and music from them at 2AM this morning, it reminded me of the times we use to enjoy things like this growing up. You know when the older folk in the church really cared about children. You had the Angelic Choir and the Youth & Young Adults and the genuinely cared. We had Vacation Bible School every summer and you didn’t have a choice whether to go or not. You went to church with grandma and you’d better not go to sleep or act up because she would pinch you so hard and then tell you not to cry. Kids didn’t chew gum in church and the ushers could actually say something to them if they did. Lord, where are those times?
See, then you had grandmothers who cared so they raised mothers who cared. Kids came home and did homework before going outside. They did chores and they didn’t play in their school clothes. You didn’t have to threaten them to behave because then the neighbors could whoop butts. They didn’t have cell phones and computers so they actually talked face to face with their friends. They went outside to play but now girls can’t do cart wheels and boys don’t know how to really play with girls. Lord, where has the time gone?
Summers were spent at grandma’s house and parents didn’t have to worry about summer camp because you could play in the streets without a fear of being run over by a drunk driver. We couldn’t wait to be done with chores because then everybody would meet outside. You had games like concentration, hide-go-seek, 4 square and dodge ball. Girls were taught how to clean a house and boys how to tend to the yard. Girls were taught how to cook a meal while the boys went to work with daddy or granddaddy. Lord, where are those types of parents?
Where is the teachings that were instilled in us as children? We weren’t so selfish and ungrateful as our kids are now. We used to be scared to bring a C home on report cards but now children don’t have a clue on how important school is. If we got in trouble at school you walked extra slow to get home because you knew what will be waiting when you got there. But now parents are afraid of their children when they should be scared of you. When you were disrespectful to momma you’d be scared to hear daddy’s truck pull in because you knew she would tell and daddy’s hands were as hard as bricks.
But know we have a “don’t care” attitude. I don’t care what they do. I don’t care what they say. I don’t care where they go or who they go with. I don’t care if they fail because that’s them. I don’t care what they wear. But baby let me tell you, you need to care because somebody cared about your dusty butt. Yea, they are ungrateful because we’ve made them that way. Yea, they don’t care about school because we don’t hold them accountable. Yea, they are disrespectful because we’ve allowed them to be. But it’s never too late to start. All of your bill money you’re about to spend on Christmas, pay your bills and teach them the real meaning of Christmas. The cell phones, take them and get them some library cards. The disrespectful mouths, stop feeding them all the fast food and junk, buy groceries and let them eat at home. Failing in school, use their extra time in tutoring before and after school. Stop buying all the name brand clothes and expensive shoes and please STOP using the excuse that you want them to have more than you did. That’s the problem now. I didn’t have half of the stuff they did but I bet I can take $8 and make a meal, I know how to talk & act in public and be respectful to others especially adults.
I loved the Saturday mornings with momma when she would have the Old School Jams playing while we cleaned the house, laughing over breakfast and sitting on the porch. I miss the Sunday mornings when we would walk to the store for a newspaper, cold cuts, crackers and chips. I miss those times because they made me who I am. I miss those times because they added character to my life.
I sure do wish these kids could experience some of the things we did and maybe just maybe they wouldn’t be as bad as they are. Parents, let’s pray for each other and stop upholding your child in their wrong. If they are wrong, discipline them and stop acting like they never do wrong when they are the Tasmanian devil at home. Let’s get back to parenting the right way before we lose this generation because it’s happening fast.
Grandma maybe dead and gone but not what she taught you. Use what you know and stop accepting anything. You do know that when God wasn’t pleased with the world before he sent the rain to wipe it out. But if you read your word then you should know that it’ll be fire next time. I don’t know about you but I’m trying to get my business straight and it’s starting today.
Lakisha, the Author 